Liquor Jokes

How are women like casinos?

Liquor in the front, poker in the back.

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What does a good bar and a good woman have in common?

Liquor in the front poker in the back.

What do a woman and a bar have in common?

Liquor in the front, poker in the back.

When drinking liquor while watching baseball, at what point will you be the most drunk?

Bottom of the fifth, of course.

How does a French lady hold her liquor?

By the ears

How does a French woman hold her liquor?

By the ears.

How much liquor does it take before you start telling racist jokes?

For me, it's about three fifths.

How do Jazz musicians drink their liquor?

Straight, No Chaser.

What do a good bar and a woman have in common?

Liquor in the front, poker in the back.

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Oc Jokes More Oc Jokes

What do you call a dairy cow who doesn't produce any milk?

OC) An utter disappointment

Where do salt lovers go to pray?

OC The taberNaCl. (Sorry..) (X-posted to dad jokes.)

Closet Jokes More Closet Jokes

What do you call a blonde haired skeleton in the closet?

Last year's Hide and Go seek champion.

What do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet?

Hide-and-go-seek winner from last year.

Fifth Jokes More Fifth Jokes

What about the two old ladies who brought a bottle of whiskey to the baseball game?

At the bottom of the fifth the bags were loaded.

What would American Psycho 3 be called if it had Martin Shreli as the lead actor?

American Psycho 3: Pleading the Fifth

Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

What do pirates and pimps have in common?

They both say "YO HO!" and walk with a limp!

Why do they call it the XBOX 360?

Because you turn 360 and walk away!!

Bear Jokes More Bear Jokes

What do you call a bear with no teeth?

Bare Grylls

What has 3 thumbs and was born near a nuclear power plant?

This guy

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a guitar and an elevator?

I didn't expose myself inside a guitar this morning.

What's the difference between a feminist and a bomb vest?

The bomb vest actually does something when triggered.

Booze Jokes More Booze Jokes

How do you get a Mormon to stop drinking all your booze?

You invite two of them.

How do Ghosts get Drunk?

Booze.

Lutheran Jokes More Lutheran Jokes

How many Lutherans does it take to change a lightbulb?

Change Why do we need change (It's cool, I go to a Lutheran church)