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9 Jokes

What do you rate Megan Fox out of 10?

Friend: 9 Me: 9? I'll give her one..

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Why was Mel Gibson in a bar at 9am?

He overslept.

Why does windows 9 not exist?

Because 7 8 9.

Why did 9 bust 1?

Because 6 8 9

Why is 8 scared of 7?

Becaauuuussseee 7 8(ate) 9. You get it huh?

Why did they skip 9?

Because, 7 8 9...

Why did Microsoft go straight to Windows 10 and skip 9?

Because Windows 8 9.

How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

10. 1 to change it and 9 to say they could have done it better.

Why did we skip windows 9?

Because 7 8 9 I'm so sorry

Why was 10 afraid of 7?

Because 7 (eight) 9

What has 9 letters and makes everyone mad?

Clickbait

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Why did Microsoft skip windows 9?

Because 7 ate 9

Why is Microsoft going straight to Windows 10?

Because 7.. 8.. 9

What's the difference between one polar bear and 10 polar bears?

9 polar bears (joke on a mug at work. lame, ik)

Why is Microsoft coming out with a windows 10 instead of 9?

Because 7 8 9

How long does it take a black woman to poo?

9 mouths

What does a donkey say?

It says "Hey Shrek, whats up?" (I was 9 when i made this okay)

Why was 9 mad at 0 after winning a game of bingo?

Because 0 1 2

Why was 6 afraid of 9?

Because 9 was still alive.

What does a 9 volt battery, and a pretty girls bumhole have in common?

People tell you not to, but you're still going to put your tongue on it.

What is up with 1, 3, 5, 7, 9?

I can't even...

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Why did Microsoft skip straight to 10?

Because Windows 7, 8, 9.

What did 6 say to 9?

Baby! Let's do a 69.

Why is 9 crying?

Me: Because it's raining and he's getting wet wife: But we're at a water park me *takes a drink from my flask* Yep

Why do 9 out of 10 bear moms prefer minivans over sedans?

All the extra cubholders.

When I bring you breakfast in bed, why can't you just say "thank you"?

Instead of all this "how did you get in to my house " calling 9-11 business.

Why was Yoda afraid of 9?

Because 10 9 8

What has 9 arms, 7 legs, 4 heads, and 13 feet?

The finish line of the Boston Marathon.

Where do lightning bolts go on dates?

To cloud 9

When asked which is more important looks or brains?

9 out of 10 zombies said "braaaaiiiiinnnnssss" number 10 ate the researcher.

What has 9 arms and 10 legs?

A Def Leppard.

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Why are 1980 pennies worth more than 1979 pennies?

Dads joke) The same reason 10 pennies is worth more than 9.

What are you going to be for Halloween dad?

Me: Drunk 9: What's mom gonna be me: Mad

Who is a Project Manager?

Project Manager is a person who believes that 9 women can deliver a baby in one month.

What do you call a Pho restaurant run by 9 Japanese chefs?

Pho Kyuu EDIT: No one understands how to pronounce "Pho".;;

What kind of insects to secret agents like?

As told by my 9 yr old) Spiders.

Why is 6 afraid of 9 on New Years Eve?

Because 9, 8, 7....

How many Blondes does it take to bake chocolate chip cookies?

10....one to bake the cookies, and 9 to peel the M&Ms

Why was 9 afraid of 20?

28 29's

Why did Windows skip 9?

Because 7 ate 9.

Why is the next Windows version 10 and not 9?

Because 7 ate(8) 9!

Where's my Spiderman costume?

I want to wear it to the science museum "In your closet, why " 9: DUH. To attract radioactive spiders!

How many /r/twoxchromosomes posters does it take to change a lightbulb?

Ten. 1 to screw in the lightbulb, and the other 9 to provide emotional support.

Whatcha watching?

Me: Tiny Houses. 9: Wow it's tiny! Who's gonna live there Me: Two people. 9: Are they married Me: Not for long.

What do you get when you sit on a potato?

A potato wedge! (I made this up when I was 9)

What did the blonde think of the new computer?

She didn't like it because she couldn't get channel 9.

Why is Yoda afraid of 7?

Because 9, 7 8.

Why did Microsoft skip windows 9 and annouce windows 10?

Because windows 7 8 9

Why was 9 afraid of 10?

Because 10 11 12.

Why is 11 afraid of 9?

Because ten, nine ate!

How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

10. 1 to change it and 9 to say they could have done it better.

How many Buzzfeed writers does it take to change a lightbulb?

13\. Number 9 will shock you!

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Why are men the best chefs?

Because with only 2 nuts, one sausage, and a little bit of milk, they can fill a woman's stomach for 9 months.

What did the pregnant orange see after 9 months?

The fruits of her labor.

Toe Jokes More Toe Jokes

What do you call a guy with a toe growing out of his knee?

Tony.

What do you call a bee with a toe?

Toby

Window 9 Jokes More Window 9 Jokes

Why didn't Microsoft release Windows 9?

Because Windows 7 ate 9.

Why isn't there a Windows 9?

Hey Microsoft, why is there no Windows 9? You've given us 7 and 8, and now you're skipping straight to 10?" "Well, to be completely honest, 7 8 9."

9 Year Old Jokes More 9 Year Old Jokes

What kind of turns do letters take?

U-turns! *From my 9 year old son yesterday. Fixed typo.

What happens if you drop a blue marble in the Red Sea?

It sinks. (Courtesy of my 9 year old daughter)

1 Jokes More 1 Jokes

What weebles and wobbles but can't get up?

Grandpa having a seizure. Bonus: Statistically speaking, 1 in 5 adult men

What has 1 hand, 3 legs, 6 feet, and 2 heads?

The finish line at the Boston Marathon.

Friend Jokes More Friend Jokes

How many retweets to let me take your sister to prom?

A student walks up to his friend a week before prom and asks, "Hey, how many Twitter retweets do i have to get to take your sister to prom?" His friend says, "Dude, she was abducted! She's been missing 3 weeks, you know this!" The student says, "So you're saying if i find her, i can take her?"

What does an egg say when he gets turnt?

Om lit cred: my friend DaMexicanBurrito from playstation.

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

Why did the two most senior nuns in the convent break up a German terror plot to steal millions in bearer bonds?

Old habits die hard

How did Mace die in Star Wars?

Through the Windu

Windows Version Jokes More Windows Version Jokes

Why is the next Windows version 10?

Because 7 8 9

Why is the next Windows version 10 and not 9?

Because 7 ate(8) 9!