How do you find white shirts on the Internet?

Use a starch engine.

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What do you do if your wife starts smoking?

Slow down and use lubricant.

Why are people from Arkansas so good at Science?

Because they use the Theory of Relativity to find a partner.

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Who was the hide-and-seek champion of 2005?

Nobody knows, they haven't found him yet.

What did the man do after being found guilty of sabotaging the moonmission?

He Apollo-gized.

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What do you give a canine seeking meaningless validation on the internet?

Pupvotes

Why was the dyslexic rabbit disappointed when he received the solid gold bar he had ordered via the internet?

He thought the ad said '24 carrots'