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Why did the kid only water half the lawn?

Because there was a 50% chance of rain

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Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

Why are the only kids in Warsaw magnet schools from Central Poland?

Cause North and South Poles repel each other...

What do you want for breakfast?

Kids: EGGS! BACON! WAFFLES! CHOCOLATE CHIP PANCAKES! Me: Let me rephrase. Who wants toast

50 Jokes More 50 Jokes

How about some snappy one-liners?

Ironically, the only way you could get me to watch 50 shades of gray is if you tied me up and forced me to watch it.

What's the difference between Whitney Houston and my car?

My car can make it to 50.

Rain Jokes More Rain Jokes

What did the Men's Right's Activist say when he left his piano out in the rain?

MUH SOGGY KEYS!

What's Irish and sits out in the rain?

Paddy o' Furniture

Half Jokes More Half Jokes

Which country's currency weighs as much as it's worth?

Australia. Because five $0.20 coins are about half a pound.

What's red and has two legs?

Half a cat