Why did the mummy stop using the Internet?

He was getting far too wrapped up in it.

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Use Jokes More Use Jokes

Why didn't the doctor use Twitter to tell the patient that he had a deadly disease?

Because the condition was untweetable.

A man asks a trainer in the gym: "I want to impress that beautiful girl, which machine can I use?"

Trainer replies: "Use the ATM"

Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

Why did the tricycle stop working?

Because it was two tired...

How do I stop a Christmas Gnome being airsick on the sledge?

Gnome: Put a five pound note between his teeth and stick his head over the side of the sledge.

Internet Jokes More Internet Jokes

How did the flea learn to use the internet?

He had to start from scratch.

What does Sean Connery surf on the Internet?

Reddish.

Mummy Jokes More Mummy Jokes

Who does a dead pharaoh talk to?

His mummy.

Why were ancient Egyptian children confused?

Because their daddies were mummies.

Wrap Jokes More Wrap Jokes

What do you call bacon wrapped frog legs?

The Muppets

Which aardvark holds the speed record?

The nearsighted aardvark who wrapped his tongue around a motorcycle!