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Mummy Jokes

What do mummies like to listen to on Halloween?

Wrap music

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Everyday Deserves a Joke

What do you call an attraction to your own mummy?

A dedipus complex.

Who does a dead pharaoh talk to?

His mummy.

How did Mummy know you hadn't had a bath?

Eve: I forgot to dirty the towel wet the soap and flood the bathroom.

What do you call a mummy on a horse?

A knight in Charmin armor.

Why were ancient Egyptian children confused?

Because their daddies were mummies.

Why did the mummy cry himself to sleep every night?

Because he was empty inside.

Who's there! Alaska! Alaska who?

Alaska my mummy!

What did baby corn asked mummy corn?

Where's popcorn.

What do you call a mummy that hates other peoples cooking?

Gordan Ramses

What kind of music does a mummy like?

W)rap music!

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What does the 1286BC incribed on the mummy's tomb indicate?

The registration of the car that ran him over!

Why are the undead so angry all the time?

They have mummy issues.

What did the mummy snake say to the crying baby snake?

Stop crying and viper your nose.

What do young ghosts call their parents?

Deady and Mummy.

Why doesn't Superman like the Mummy?

Because the Mummy's always saying, "I'll be in the crypt tonight."

Why did the mummy stop using the Internet?

He was getting far too wrapped up in it.

Why did the Mummy go to the bathroom?

To wrap itself in toilet paper!

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Alaska Jokes More Alaska Jokes

How do you tell the time in Antarctica?

I don't know,Alaska guy and tell you

What do you call an eye doctor living on an island in Alaska?

An optical Aleutian.

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

What happened to the Native American who drank too much tea?

He died in his teepee

Where does a catholic cat go when it dies?

Purrrgatory.

Flood Jokes More Flood Jokes

How did Mummy know you hadn't had a bath?

Eve: I forgot to dirty the towel wet the soap and flood the bathroom.

How Do You Start a Flood?

An engineer and an attorney were fishing in the Caribbean. The attorney said, Im here because my house burned down and everything I owned was destroyed by the fire. The insurance company paid for everything. "Thats quite a coincidence," said the engineer. Im here because my house and all my belongings were destroyed by a flood and my insurance company also paid for everything. The puzzled attorney asked, How do you start a flood?

Horse Jokes More Horse Jokes

Why are horses poor dancers?

They have two left feet.

Who is a cow and horses favorite artist?

Moo Nay!

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

What is the most faithful insect?

A flea once they find someone they like they stick to them!

Why don't the Chinese have casinos?

Because they don't like Tibet

Egyptian Kid Jokes More Egyptian Kid Jokes

Why did the Egyptian kid in therapy?

Because he thought his daddy was his mummy.

Why was the Egyptian kid confused?

Because his daddy was a mummy

Superman Jokes More Superman Jokes

Why doesn't Superman like the Mummy?

Because the Mummy's always saying, "I'll be in the crypt tonight."

What do you call it when Superman craps his pants?

Undy-terd.

Dirty Jokes More Dirty Jokes

How did Mummy know you hadn't had a bath?

Eve: I forgot to dirty the towel wet the soap and flood the bathroom.

What do you get when you cut up an avagadro?

Guaca**mole**y edit: how do I make it not say this joke is Dirty