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What did you do today?

Mum: Well, the builders that moved the garage came over and I paid them for their work done.

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Come Jokes More Come Jokes

What did the hair stylist do when the Beach Boys came on?

The barber ran

How long does it take for George R.R. Martin to finish a Reddit post?

Answer coming Fall 2017.

Pay Jokes More Pay Jokes

What's the difference between garbanzo beans and chickpeas?

I've never paid $200 to have a garbanzo bean in my mouth.

What happened to the Christian family when they didn't pay their exorcist?

THEIR HOUSE GOT REPOSSESSED!

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

Why are elevator jokes so funny?

Because they work on so many levels

How many Gordon Ramseys does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, he lets the knives do the work

Garage Jokes More Garage Jokes

What're you doing in the garage?

ME: I made a cloning machine. WIFE: Don't do anything stupid. OTHER ME: Like what

What happens if you put a mirror in a garage?

A mirage!

Mum Jokes More Mum Jokes

Why couldn't the spotty cat chase the sheep?

Because her Mum wouldn't leopard be a shepherd

Why are you watching Thatcher's funeral?

Mum: "Just to make sure"

Builder Jokes More Builder Jokes

What was Bob the Builder called after he retired?

Bob.

How do you call Bob the Builder when he is unemployed?

Bob