What does a carpet salesman give his wife for Valentine's Day?

Rugs and kisses!

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What is headache?

5 minutes talk to wife.

What Did The Dying Gambler Say To His Wife?

10 bucks says I don't need this oxygen tank

Kiss Jokes More Kiss Jokes

How do you kiss a girl on Valentine's Day?

You use tulips.

How do skeletons kiss?

They don't. Skeletons don't have lips, they just bone.

Valentine Day Jokes More Valentine Day Jokes

What did the stamp say to the envelope on Valentine's Day?

I'm stuck on you!

What do squirrels give for Valentine's Day?

Forget-me-nuts.

Rug Jokes More Rug Jokes

What do you call it when a dog craps on your rug?

Carpet bombing.

How does SpongeBob cut a rug?

With a square Dance!

Valentine Jokes More Valentine Jokes

What's the difference between the calendar and you?

A calendar has a date on Valentine's Day.

What celestial body do you give your sweetie on Valentine's Day?

An exoplanet.