Rug Jokes

How does Spongebob cut a rug?

With a square Dance!

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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What do you call it when a dog craps on your rug?

Carpet bombing.

Why are there rugs in front of the stove and the sink?

So women know where to stand in the kitchen.

How do u kno the deceased?

I was his drug dealer. "Louder for the tape " leans in I was his rug feeler. Tested his rugs.

What does a carpet salesman give his wife for Valentine's Day?

Rugs and kisses!

What's up, girl?

Do you like bad boys kicks rug or good guys fixes rug

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Nervous Breakdown Jokes More Nervous Breakdown Jokes

Why did the car judder to a stop when it saw a ghost?

It had a nervous breakdown.

What's the definition of a nervous breakdown?

A chameleon on a tartan rug!

Kiss Jokes More Kiss Jokes

How does an Alzheimer's patient celebrate New Years?

Kissing strangers.

What were the last words Jimi Hendrix said before he died?

S'cuse me, while I kiss the sky...*

Valentine Jokes More Valentine Jokes

What's the difference between the calendar and you?

A calendar has a date on Valentine's day.

How do you kiss a girl on Valentine's Day?

You use tulips.

Drug Dealer Jokes More Drug Dealer Jokes

What's the difference between your mom and a drug dealer?

Your mom can wash her crack and re-sell it.

Why did the undercover cop throw a wasp nest at the drug dealer?

It was a sting operation.

Source Jokes More Source Jokes

What do you get when you buy a $5 umbrella?

Wet.

Whats the difference between a genie and a genius?

A genie grants wishes, while a genius wishes for grants.

Stand Jokes More Stand Jokes

What does Pontiac stand for?

Poor, Old, Niagga, Thinks, It's, A, Cadillac. Ba dum tssss

What were Adam's first ever words to Eve?

Stand back - I don't know how big it's going to get!

Leopard Jokes More Leopard Jokes

Why couldn't the leopard play hide and seek?

Because he was always spotted.

How does a leopard change its spots?

When it gets tired of one spot it just moves to another!

Tape Lean Jokes More Tape Lean Jokes

How do u kno the deceased?

I was his drug dealer. "Louder for the tape " leans in I was his rug feeler. Tested his rugs.

Where were you on the night of the 5th?

Dealing drugs." "Louder for the tape " leans in "Healing pugs. I'm a pug vet."