Rug Jokes

How does SpongeBob cut a rug?

With a square Dance!

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

What do you call it when a dog craps on your rug?

Carpet bombing.

What does a carpet salesman give his wife for Valentine's Day?

Rugs and kisses!

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Dislike Jokes More Dislike Jokes

Why do dogs hate outer space?

Because they strongly dislike vacuums.

Why are there no guys named William serving in the army?

Because they dislike the phrase "Fire at Will"

Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

What do you give a dog with a fever?

Mustard. (It's good for a hot dog.)

Why don't blind people go sky diving?

It freaks out the dogs!

Prefer Jokes More Prefer Jokes

What's Alex's (from 'A Clockwork Orange') preferred type of light?

Ultraviolent

What sort of perfume do snakes prefer?

Poison by Christian Dior!

Sink Jokes More Sink Jokes

What do you call a boat with a hole?

A sink.

What do you call a sinking ship full of condiments?

Sinko de Mayo

Nervous Breakdown Jokes More Nervous Breakdown Jokes

What's the definition of a nervous breakdown?

A chameleon on a tartan rug!

Why did the car judder to a stop when it saw a ghost?

It had a nervous breakdown.

Fix Jokes More Fix Jokes

What's the best way to fix a horse race?

Evolution.

What did Thor say to the weaver fixing his cape?

What are your Hemsworth?

Test Jokes More Test Jokes

What do biology students do when they do poorly on a test?

They bio-D-grade.

What do you say if you're testing a new firearm?

I'll take a shot

Crap Jokes More Crap Jokes

What do you call it when Superman craps his pants?

Undy-terd.

What do you call a speech so scary it makes you crap your pants?

A dire rhetoric.