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What happens when a carpenter drinks with his wife?

He gets hammered and she gets nailed.

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Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

Why should you never drink German beer with Chinese food?

An hour later you're hungry for power.

Who pays for the drinks?

The German!

Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happens when you die?

Me: You go to heaven. 4: No, I mean when you die, do I get your stuff

What happened when the composer got angry?

He flew off the Handel

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What do you want your husbands gravestone to say?

Wife: "Nothing. I want a traditional, non-talking one."

What did the sniper say to his wife when he came back from work?

I missed you

Nail Jokes More Nail Jokes

What is the difference between Jesus and a painting?

You only need a nail to hang a painting.

What is Jesus's go-to pickup line?

Would you like me to show you what it feels like to get nailed?

Hammer Jokes More Hammer Jokes

What do you call a communist hip-hop musician?

MC Hammer and Sickle.

Why did the T-Rex get hammered at noon?

Because he's a Wino-saur!

Carpenter Jokes More Carpenter Jokes

What's the difference between Jesus and other carpenters?

Jesus may actually return some day.

How do historians know that Joseph wasn't Jesus' dad?

Because when you're a carpenter in the desert you can't get wood.