What happens when a carpenter drinks with his wife?

He gets hammered and she gets nailed.

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Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the party?

I told her that drinks were on the house

Why did the hipster burn his tongue?

Because he drank his coffee before it was cool.

Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happened out there?

I dont kn-OMG WHAT IS THAT *interviewer doesnt look* Ugh didnt work on u either

What happened to the man who died from drinking Shellac?

He had a *lovely finish*.

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What did Anakin Skywalker cry out as he lay dying and on fire?

Patme! Patme! Credit to my wife on this one

Why does my shampoo smell like gasoline?

And when did my wife start smoking

Nail Jokes More Nail Jokes

Why does Jesus and bartenders have so much in common?

Bcoz they are single, have no kids, got nailed and serve alcoholic beverage.

Why doesn't Jesus enjoy manicures or pedicures?

Because they always try to mess with his nails.

Hammer Jokes More Hammer Jokes

Why did the T-Rex get hammered at noon?

Because he's a Wino-saur!

Why doesn't Thor of the insect world use a hammer?

He's already got a Thor Axe.

Carpenter Jokes More Carpenter Jokes

How does a carpenter effectively build stairs?

He thinks one step ahead

Why don't you ask Joseph, the carpenter?

God: Uh huge grin cos I'm banging his wife raises hand up top