Why did the hipster burn his tongue?

Because he drank his coffee before it was cool.

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Tongue Jokes More Tongue Jokes

What happens when two lesbians build a house?

It's all tongue and groove, and no stud inside.

How can you tell if your house was built by lesbian carpenters?

All tongue-in-groove, with no studs.

Coffee Jokes More Coffee Jokes

What do you call an overweight Star Wars fanatic who drinks too much coffee?

Java the Hutt

How does Henry VIII like his coffee?

Decap.

Burn Jokes More Burn Jokes

Who burns their own city down?

The people of Ferguson.

How did the hipster burn the roof of his mouth?

He ate the pizza before it was cool.

Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

Why do Irishmen drink all the time?

You would too if you were a ginger

What do you call a preponderance of the evidence that your drink has been compromised?

Probable Cosby