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Why did the hipster burn his tongue?

Because he drank his coffee before it was cool.

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Tongue Jokes More Tongue Jokes

What did the banker say to the tongue when he rejected his loan application?

There's no accounting for taste.

What does a 9 volt battery, and a pretty girls bumhole have in common?

People tell you not to, but you're still going to put your tongue on it.

Coffee Jokes More Coffee Jokes

How do you take your coffee?

Ferguson Police Huh? Black, two shots.

How does Moses get his coffee?

He buys it from Starbucks...

Burn Jokes More Burn Jokes

What did the farmer say when he heard the town gossiping about his cornfield fire?

My ears are burning!

What do you call a Woolworths that burnt down?

Coles.

Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

What do you call someone who throws up after drinking too much orange soda?

Fantastic

Where do geographers go for a drink?

The Isobar