A woman wants a man who can satisfy all her needs. A man wants all women who can satisfy his needs.
You can't steal a real car a few bits at a time
Princess Diana wouldn't be caught dead in a Volvo
Because he wanted to run his fingers through his hair.
He wanted to remain a bat-chelor.
When she starts her sentence with, "A man once told me..."
Friends.
He invited her over to net fish and krill.
Because they always want to be right.
A statesman is a dead politician. God knows we need more statesman.
Because he has his own shoulder to cry on. Edit: all credit goes to /u/Earleebird who posted it in a comment in /r/oldschoolcool
Visa or Mastercard?
He had a reptile dysfunction.
