Branch Jokes

What branch of the military are horses in?

The NaaaaayyyVY

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

Why was the tree in prison?

Because it broke every branch of the law.

What did the poplar tree say to the weeping willow?

Hey pal, you just need to branch out more.

What branch of the military did the hipster join?

The Salvation Army.

Why was the sapling such a horrible entrepreneur?

Because he couldn't branch out.

Why did I join Twitter?

Well I was sick of only being hated by coworkers and family so I wanted to branch out.

What bank do birds open accounts with?

The one with the most branches!

Why did the monkey trip over the branch?

Because the Chimp-Can't -See

What did the tree do when the bank closed?

It started its own branch

Why do trees have so many friends?

They branch out

Why are branches attached to trees?

Because they stick

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Everyday Deserves a Joke

You might also enjoy:

Cook Jokes More Cook Jokes

What does the guy who has been backpacking just a bit too long miss most about home?

A home-cooked shower.

Why is the cook worried about catching his runaway pig?

He knows a little ham goes a long way.

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What programming language do they use in Star Wars?

JawaScript

How do you contact dead window cleaners?

Use a squeegee board.

Suit Jokes More Suit Jokes

What do you call a monkey in a suit?

Over-dressed!

When an ape visits his tailor what kind of a suit does he order?

A zoo-t suit!

Coworker Jokes More Coworker Jokes

When a coworker tells everyone he proposed, I'm the guy that asks, "So, what did she say?

I'm funny that way.

How does a boat captain determine his profit?

By using aquadratic equation. (Via my coworker)

Sit Jokes More Sit Jokes

What do you get when you cross a pig with a canary?

I don't know but when it sits on your electric wire and sings all your lights go out

What's blue and white and sits up a tree?

A fridge wearing a denim jacket.

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

What type of fish needs to be tuned?

Tune a fish

What do you need to teach a blonde who never had an accident in 20 years?

Second gear.

Military Jokes More Military Jokes

What does one call an undertaker that's been drafted into the Military?

A Corpseman. Painfully obvious, yet a terrible play on the English language, I know. It was something I came up with a few years ago, for some unknown reason.

How do you know if someone was in the military?

Don't worry, they'll let you know.

Read Jokes More Read Jokes

How would you write do not touch in Braile?

A. With copper wire and strong electric current. (read it in a shower thoughts thread)

What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an unwilling agnostic, and a dyslexic?

Somebody who stays up all night torturing himself mentally over the question whether or not theres a dog.