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Why are Twitter jokes not as funny when you read them aloud to a friend?

It's not like they had to be there...

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Why couldn't the Dali Lama go out and play with his friends?

Because he was grounded.

What's worse than 9/11?

311 Credit goes to my friend Max.

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What is your sin, my child?

Me: Twitter. Padre: Wow, if I had a nickel for every time...

What climate scientist does Disney follow on twitter?

The rogue one

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Why are you reading the last pages of your history book first?

Pupil: I want to know how it ends!

How did Mister Baggins know when his neighbor had died?

He read it in the Hobbituary.