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Why are Twitter jokes not as funny when you read them aloud to a friend?

It's not like they had to be there...

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What happened when the host of Dirty Jobs said hello to a friend that was fairly far away?

Microwave.

What did Einstein text to his friend who he'd see tomorrow?

E=MC U L8R

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What is your sin, my child?

Me: Twitter. Padre: Wow, if I had a nickel for every time...

What's the different between Twitter and Game of Thrones?

Twitter has a character limit

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What does a frog that can read say?

Reddit...reddit...

Why is Dave Mustaine described as "heavy metal"?

Because he sings lead. (Better read than said.)