How do you tell the difference between ...

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between my guitar and my girlfriend?

My guitar doesn't yell at me when I snap it's g-string

What's the difference between a chickpea and a garabonzo bean?

I don't have a garabonzo bean in my garage because that's where I get pee'd on so there is tarps everywhere.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How can you tell if a snake is a baby snake?

It has a rattle.

How can you tell a mechanic has gotten lucky?

He's got one clean finger!

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What did the blind man say when he was asked what he thought about the renovation plan of his house?

I don't know.. I just don't see it.

How do you get three drunk, rowdy Canadians out of a pool?

Ask them to get out of the pool.

Word Jokes More Word Jokes

What's a word that no matter how much you spelled it, it always wrong?

Wrong, the word is wrong

How many amateur masochists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one; But it takes a WHOLE E.R. room to extract it afterwards. Double joke! "whole... hole." it's a play on words

Physicist Jokes More Physicist Jokes

Why was the physicist being so careful not to insult his colleague's choice of generalized coordinates and momentum?

He was just minding his Ps and Qs.

What is 1 + 1"?

The mathematician says "2" The Physicist says "2, plus or minus 0.1" The engineer says "Probably around 2, but let's say 3 to be on the safe side".

Plumber Jokes More Plumber Jokes

Why was the plumber stressed?

He had a high pressure job

Why are Plumbers always so tired?

Because their job is draining.

Unionize Jokes More Unionize Jokes

What's the difference between a plumber and a scientist?

Pronounce this word: unionized

How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?

Ask them to pronounce unionized.

How do you tell the difference between a physicist and a plumber?