How many Man U. fans does it take to change a lightbulb?

One to change the lightbulb and one to drive down to Kent to pick him/her up.

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Lightbulb Jokes More Lightbulb Jokes

How many 3rd wave feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Whats the point? 3rd wave feminists can't take a joke anyway.

How many Apple Geniuses does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, we just swap out your whole house

Change Jokes More Change Jokes

How many people from the future does it take to change a light bulb?

The lightbulb works fine...

Why did you cancel your gym membership?

Me: There were some changes in the vending machines that I didn't agree with

Drive Jokes More Drive Jokes

Why are locomotive drivers so good at driving locomotives?

Because they were trained.

Why did the snail paint an S on the back of his car?

So when he drove by people would say, "Hey, look at that S car go!"

Pick Jokes More Pick Jokes

What's the difference between garbage and a girl from New Jersey?

Garbage gets picked up!

Where is the English Channel?

Pupil: I don't know my TV doesn't pick it up

Himher Jokes More Himher Jokes

How do you tell the difference between a plumber and a chemist?

Ask him/her to pronounce unionized

How many Borderline P.D. does to take to change a lightbulb?

Just one. To threaten suicide if you don't change it for him/her.