How many pessimists does it take to change a light bulb?

One, although it's probably screwed in too tight anyway.

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Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

How many of my ex-girlfriends does it take to change a lightbulb?

One. Apparently she will screw anything.

Where is the best place to screw a Mt. Goat?

The edge of a cliff, you are guaranteed she will push back!

Change Jokes More Change Jokes

Who and Facebook?

When the Doctor changes the timeline, it's usually for a good reason.

How many straight men in california does it take to change a lightbulb?

Both of them

Light Bulb Jokes More Light Bulb Jokes

How many bees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, but how do they get in there

How many NRA members does it take to change a light bulb?

More guns.

Pessimist Jokes More Pessimist Jokes

What is the difference between Russian Optimist Pessimist and Realist?

An Optimist learns German. A Pessimist learns Chinese. A Realist learns AK-47.

What's the difference between a optimist, a pessimist and a realist?

The optimist sees the light at the end of the tunnel. The pessimist sees nothing. And the realist sees the train.