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Why is Superman wanted by the police?

He is wanted for being the Man of Steal.

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Why did the worm want to learn kung-fu?

So he could flip the bird

What do you call an 800 pound gorilla?

Anything he wants to be called.

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What are you taking for it?

Man replies "Pollen"

Why did the man quit his job at the bakery?

He didn't knead any more dough.

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Why couldn't the police solve the case of the flat car battery?

They had no leads.

What disease do police give black people?

Glock coma

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What do you call it when someone steals your footrest?

Grand Theft Ottoman

Why didn't you report your stolen credit card?

Man: The thief was spending less than my wife. Police: Then why are you reporting it now Man: I think now the thief's wife has started using it!

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Why didn't Superman rescue Princess Diana?

Because he was in a wheelchair.

What's the difference between Superman and Super Delegate?

The first one saves people from criminals, while the latter saves criminals from the people.