Why is Superman wanted by the police?

He is wanted for being the Man of Steal.

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What is the last thing you want to hear after blowing Willie Nelson?

I'm not Willie Nelson' Credit: old joke via: Norm Macdonald

What do you do when you want to golf in a thunderstorm?

Hold up a 1 Iron. Not even God can hit a 1 iron.

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Why do men, on average, die before women?

Because they want to.

What do you call a man with a kilt over his head?

Scott!

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What did the hacker do when the police came for him?

He ransomware.

Why did the French chef go to the police?

Escargot stolen.

Steal Jokes More Steal Jokes

How do I stay in shape?

I stole an ostrich, it chases me around the house all day, i hate it

What did the mouse say when his cheese was stolen?

Rats!

Superman Jokes More Superman Jokes

What sport can Batman best Superman in?

Polo

Why does Superman get invited to dinners?

Because he is a Supperhero.