Uk Jokes

What's the difference between Hillary's e-mails and the UK leaving the EU?

Hillary got off Scott-free.

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What if UK's politician changes the lightbulb?

He Brexit!

What is UK's favorite song line?

And I'll tell you all about it when I EU again.

What is the capital of Greece?

More than the capital of the UK.

What did UK say while leaving?

It's not EU, it's me

Why are shopaholics in the UK generally very skinny?

Because they are always losing pounds.

How can you tell that microchips are made in the US and not the UK?

Because if they were made in the UK they would be called microcrisps.

What did Noah do with all the poop?

Threw it overboard. it formed the UK. Taken from here:

How do you know that a plane from the UK has landed?

An hour after its landed its still whining.

What makes you think you can criticise American gun laws, sitting over there in the UK?

I was asked on an internet forum. "Because you're not allowed to take them on planes," I answered.

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Capital Jokes More Capital Jokes

What are a Corporation's Favourite Letters?

Capital I's

What is the capital of the United States?

Half of what it was last week

Land Jokes More Land Jokes

How does a Range Rover Evoque look after landing on it's roof?

Exactly the same.

Why is Peter Pan always flying around?

Because he can never never land

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a French Knight and my friend with a genie?

One's a Paladin, and the other's my pal Alladin

Whats the difference between a diamond player and a master player in League of Legends?

About 1400 dollars

Spell Jokes More Spell Jokes

Why a pirate could not spell iris?

He had only one 'i'

How do you spell a hated opponent with three letters?

NME (enemy).

Mail Jokes More Mail Jokes

What do werewolves put at the bottom of their e-mails?

Beast wishes.

Why don't vikings send e-mails?

They prefer to use Norse code.

1776 Jokes More 1776 Jokes

Why is it "canceled" in America, but "cancelled" in England?

Because we gave them that L in 1776.

Why is it spelled 'cancelled' in the UK, but 'canceled' in the US?

Because the US gave the UK that L back in 1776.

Hillary Jokes More Hillary Jokes

What do FBI agents grill for the 4th of July?

Hillary.

Why is Hillary spelled with 2 L's?

One for 2008 and one for 2016.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How do you know when you have bad acne?

When the blind try to read your face.

What did the one fish in the tank say to the other?

Do you know how to drive this thing