How hard is it to find cigarettes?

Because my dad has been gone for 13 years looking for them.

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What do you do when you find Michael J. Fox in your hot tub?

Add your laundry.

How many tax auditors does it take to find a $1.00 mistake in an expense report?

Three. One to find the mistake and two to discuss the significance of it.

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Why does a dentist seem moody?

Because he always looks down in the mouth.

What's it called when you look in the mirror and say "Jesus Christ I look good"?

Using the lords name in vanity

Dad Jokes More Dad Jokes

When your kid asks you (daddy is it time to go crazy?

You don't know what to say until you wife reply's (idk go ask you dad.) what do you say My little joke

Why are we here?

Me: Philosophers still don't know 5: No, why are we HERE Wife: Your dad is lost and won't ask for directions

Cigarette Jokes More Cigarette Jokes

How do you know when a cat's done cleaning itself?

It's smoking a cigarette.

What do you call a statue of Jesus made out of cigarettes?

Holy smokes.

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How hard is it to find cigarettes?

Because my dad has been gone for 13 years looking for them.