What do a washing machine and a one night stand have in common?

A washing machine doesn't follow you around for a week after you put a load in it..

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Follow Jokes More Follow Jokes

How many Deadheads does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, they just watch it burn out and follow it around for 30 years.

How did you burn the Thanksgiving Turkey?

Me: I followed the directions. 20 minutes a pound at 325 degrees. I weigh 175 pounds!

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

Why did the dog sleep so poorly?

By mistake he plugged his electric blanket into the toaster and kept popping out of bed all night!

What did the polygamist horse get on his wedding night?

A double bridle

Week Jokes More Week Jokes

What happened to the tiger who took a bath three times a day?

After a week he was spotless!

What do you call a 5 year old's knees?

Kidneys!

Load Jokes More Load Jokes

What's the difference between a blonde and a washer?

When you dump your load in a washer, it doesn't follow you around for a week.

What did the man say when the calculator agreed to help him load the car?

I KNEW I COULD COUNT ON YOU

Night Stand Jokes More Night Stand Jokes

What do robots do on a one night stand?

He nuts and bolts

What do you call a one-night stand?

A humpty-dumpty!

Washing Machine Jokes More Washing Machine Jokes

What is agitated buy joyful?

A washing machine

Why did the washing machine stop?

Somebody threw the towel in.