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What do a washing machine and a one night stand have in common?

A washing machine doesn't follow you around for a week after you put a load in it..

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Follow Jokes More Follow Jokes

What's the difference between your mama and a washing machine?

The washing machine doesn't follow me around for a week after I dump a load in it.

What's the difference between a washing machine and a virgin?

A washing machine doesn't follow the guy around for 2 weeks after he drops a load in it.

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

What did you call a dinosaur that keeps you awake at night?

Bronto-snore-us!

What did one flea say to the other after a night out?

Shall we walk home or take a dog

Week Jokes More Week Jokes

Which day of the week do ghosts like best?

Moandays.

How does Walter Palmer like his eggs?

Poached. Thank you, I'm here all week. EDIT: this got no upvotes and I don't think it deserved any

Load Jokes More Load Jokes

What is easier to load your van with bowling balls or screaming baby's?

Baby's because you can use a pitchfork

What do you do when you see Michael J. Fox in a bathtub?

Throw in a load of laundry.

Night Stand Jokes More Night Stand Jokes

What does a carpenter do after one night stand?

A matching one for the other side of the bed.

What does the Doctor say on a one-night stand going wrong?

It's bigger on the inside(http://www.youtube.com/watch v=6zXDo4dL7SU)

Washing Machine Jokes More Washing Machine Jokes

What kind of monster is safe to put in the washing machine?

A wash and wear wolf

Why is the washing machine so grumpy?

It keeps getting agitated