What did the man say when the calculator agreed to help him load the car?

I KNEW I COULD COUNT ON YOU

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What will the results of the next election be?

No one knows! The results were stolen from the Politburo just last night!

What is the name of your car?

Lady: I forgot the name, but is starts with 'T'. Sardar: Oh, what a strange car, starts with Tea. All cars that I know start with petrol.

Car Jokes More Car Jokes

Why don't auto repair shops fix golf carts?

Because they work with parts for cars, not carts for pars.

What do you call your wife and mother-in-law when they're riding in the same car?

Dual air bags.

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

What did Captain Cook say to his men before they got on the ship?

Let's get on the ship, men!

Whats the odd one out?

The man on the moon? Santa Claus? Or an honest Lawyer? Yes you got it Santa. The other two are figments of the imagination.

Count Jokes More Count Jokes

Why was the dietician kicked out of the casino?

He was caught counting carbs.

How many legs does an elephant have if you count his trunk as a leg?

Four. Because calling the trunk a leg doesn't make it a leg.

Help Jokes More Help Jokes

What do ya call a bunch of guys breaking into a music store and helping themselves to the stringed instruments?

Luters.

What does Leia say when she needs help?

I think I could use a Han here.

Load Jokes More Load Jokes

What do you do with spoiled fish food?

Load it in the chum dumpster.

Why are glow worms good to carry in your bag?

They can lighten your load!

Calculator Jokes More Calculator Jokes

What do you call someone who is always disagreeing with their calculator?

A chronic math debater

What snake do get when cross a calculator with a steam engine?

A puff-adder

Agree Jokes More Agree Jokes

How do pirates agree with each other over long distances?

With their aye-phones.

What would happen if the Illuminati and Half-Life 3 agreed with each other?

Illuminati and Half-Life 3 conformed.