What did the man say when the calculator agreed to help him load the car?

I KNEW I COULD COUNT ON YOU

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What can you tell me about the Dead Sea?

Pupil: Dead I didn't even know he was sick!

How do you know it's safe to feed the ducks the same thing as the Canadian geese down at the pond?

Because what's good the goose is good for Merganser.

Car Jokes More Car Jokes

Why did Einstein refuse to help people fix their cars?

Because his colleagues would call him the Quantum Mechanic.

Why can't Helen Keller drive a car?

Because she's dead.

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

What is a black mans favorite Halloween costume?

Robbin Hood

What did Jesus say to the man with leprocy?

OOPS! GOT YOUR NOSE!

Count Jokes More Count Jokes

What's the difference between democracy and feudalism?

Q: What's the difference between democracy and feudalism A: In democracy, your vote counts. In feudalism, your Count votes.

What does it sounds like when a Japanese Homer Simpson forgets how to count to 11?

Nin, ten, "....I'll leave now.

Help Jokes More Help Jokes

What's the difference between an M&amp?

M and a tiny mute in your tuna sandwich screaming for help? One melts in your mouth, one mouths in your melt.

What's the difference between a good friend and a really good friend?

A good friend will help you move house A really good friend will help you move a body!

Load Jokes More Load Jokes

Whats the difference between a washing machine and a woman?

A washing machine doesn't follow you around after you dump a load in it.

What's the difference between your mom and a washing machine?

If I dump a load in a washing machine it doesn't follow me around for the next few weeks.

Calculator Jokes More Calculator Jokes

What do you call a James Bond film about a calculator?

Casio royale

What snake do get when cross a calculator with a steam engine?

A puff-adder

Agree Jokes More Agree Jokes

How do pirates agree with each other over long distances?

With their aye-phones.

What's the only thing the English and French agree on?

Americans. Alternatives: What's the only thing Americans and the French agree on? The English. What's the only thing the English and Americans agree on? The French.