Why should you only invite gas molecules to your house when they have negligible intermolecular forces between them?

Because they're the ideal gas.

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House Jokes More House Jokes

How do you get the walls of your house as bright as they can possibly be?

Use LED based paint.

What do you call a dead chicken that's haunting your house?

A poultrygeist

Invite Jokes More Invite Jokes

Why should you never invite a pig to join your tug-of-war team?

Pigs want to be pulled through the mudhole.

How do you get a Mormon to stop drinking all your booze?

You invite two of them.