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Why should you never invite a pig to join your tug-of-war team?

Pigs want to be pulled through the mudhole.

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What's the difference between Saint Patrick's Day and Martin Luther King Day?

Everyone wants to be Irish on Saint Patrick's Day.

How Pokemon Go came to be Customers: "Niantic, can we have 151 Pokemon?

Niantic: "147 Pokemon You want to have 145 Pokemon! What are you going to do with 142 Pokemon!"

War Jokes More War Jokes

How does an octopus go to war?

Well-Armed

What do the Russians use to film their war with Isis?

Daeshcams

Join Jokes More Join Jokes

Why did the King's Justice join Run DMC?

Cuz he be Ilyn.

Why did the Pasta join a dating website?

Because he was cannelloni.

Pull Jokes More Pull Jokes

What did the couch say to the armchair?

Don't worry, I pull out.

What's the difference between the stock market and women?

With the stock market you can only lose when you pull out.

Invite Jokes More Invite Jokes

Why 21 didn't invite his brother for dinner?

28

Who's the best person to invite over for Christmas?

Charlie Sheen. Because you know it's GUARANTEED to be a white Christmas when he's around.

Pig Jokes More Pig Jokes

What's hard and pink?

A pig with a flick knife.

Why did the pig go in the kitchen?

To start some bacon