What type of gun is used by a pig that is good with the ladies?

A smoothbore.

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Use Jokes More Use Jokes

Whatcha makin'?

God: Trust. Man can use it to form lasting bonds and friendships. What you making Satan: A bong.

What do accountants use for birth-control?

A. Their personalities.

Type Jokes More Type Jokes

What type of car does a Loch Ness Monster Drive?

A nissan

What type of car would the Hamburglar drive?

A Hamburghini.

Gun Jokes More Gun Jokes

Where does Sean Connery keep his guns?

In the library of course. They're for shelf-defense.

What do you think Jesus's stance would be on guns?

I think he would be most strict on nail gun control. (Credit to Taylor on PKA)

Lady Jokes More Lady Jokes

Why are all the ladies attracted to Voldemort?

Because of his hex appeal.

What's the difference between a lady in church and a lady in a bathtub?

The lady in church has hope in her soul.

Pig Jokes More Pig Jokes

What do you get when you cross a pig with a canary?

I don't know but when it sits on your electric wire and sings all your lights go out

Why do pigs run into trees?

To shake out the alligators. I've never seen an alligator In a tree. That's because the pigs do such a good job.