Why was Tom Cruise hired by Volkswagen?

Emission Impossible

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Why should we hire you?

Me: Well, if you hire me, I will make all of your other employees look FANTASTIC by comparison.

Why won't Microsoft hire any maids?

Because they don't do Windows

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Why can't Africa have Volkswagen beetles?

Because an elephant will screw anything with a trunk in the front. Thanks to a random guy outside of a 7/11.

Why was Tom Cruise hired by Volkswagen?

Emission Impossible

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What do you get when you cross Tom Cruise with nails?

A cruiseifixion.

What's the shortest Tom Cruise joke?

He walks into a bra.