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Why is Arjen Robben not being invited to Alfredo Di Stefanos funeral?

They're scared he'll try to dive in the box.

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Try Jokes More Try Jokes

What type of objects do not accelerate, regardless of the force applied?

Letterhead and envelopes. No matter how hard you try, they remain stationery!

How do you check if a webpage is HTML5?

Try it out on Internet Explorer

Invite Jokes More Invite Jokes

Why should you never invite a pig to join your tug-of-war team?

Pigs want to be pulled through the mudhole.

Why did vatican invite Bernie not Hillary?

They couldn't afford it.

Box Jokes More Box Jokes

Why is the lady on the Red Heads matchbox always smiling?

There are 48 heads in her box - of course shes happy!

What was the pirate boxing champion known for?

His left hook.

Dive Jokes More Dive Jokes

Did you hear about the submarine industry?

It really took a dive...

What happens when you mock the host of Diners, Drive-In's, and Dives?

The guy gets fierious.