Why are orchestra intermissions only twenty minutes long?

So the violists don't need to be retrained.

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Need Jokes More Need Jokes

What did God say to Noah?

Make a backup, I need to re-format this.

What pillar doesn't need holding up?

A caterpillar!

Violist Jokes More Violist Jokes

Why shouldn't violists take up mountaineering?

Because if they get lost it takes ages before anyone notices that they're missing.

What do you call the folks who hang around the musicians at conservatories?

Violists.

Minute Jokes More Minute Jokes

What do South American governments and internal combustion engines have in common?

Both are measured in revolutions per minute.

Why can any hamburger run the mile in under four minutes?

Because it's a FAST food!

Retrain Jokes More Retrain Jokes

Why do blondes work seven days a week?

So you don't have to retrain them on Monday.

Why does a man only get half-hour lunch-breaks?

So his boss doesn't have to retrain him.