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Why did the man with an electric car think he had a dual exhaust?

He drank a lot of beer. He ate a lot of beans. *You love it.*

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Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

What does Bill Cosby do when he can't sleep at night?

He finishes her drink EDIT: Apparently this is Conan's joke, so all credit goes to him. I just heard it from a friend of mine and I had no idea.

What do cannibals like to drink in the morning?

A cup of Joe.

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

What do you think Jesus's stance would be on guns?

I think he would be most strict on nail gun control. (Credit to Taylor on PKA)

Why so down?

Aquaman: People think I'm not a real superhero. I'm tired of being walked all over. *Jesus enters Aquaman: Dammit!

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

What is the Revenant about?

The unbearable lengths one man will go to get his revenge and win an Oscar.

What do a man and a rubix cube have in common?

The longer you play with them, the harder they get.

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

What's the procrastinator's favorite song?

Tooomorrow, tomorrow, I love yah, tomorrow.." (You're always a day away)

When is my wife's favorite day to make love?

Tomorrow

Lot Jokes More Lot Jokes

How many tries does it take to get to the front page?

A LOT.

What is the difference between a dog and a mailbox?

If you don't know you must lose a lot of mail.

Eat Jokes More Eat Jokes

Why was six scared of seven?

Because seven "ate" nine.

What do you call an Ewok who just ate pancakes?

A sticky Wicket.

Beer Jokes More Beer Jokes

What are 3 naked woman on a crate of beer?

In the way!

How many guys does it take to open a beer?

None, it should be open when she brings it to you.

Bean Jokes More Bean Jokes

How many beans are in Irish Chili?

239, because if there was 1 more it would be "Too Farty".

Why was Jack scared?

Because Jack was bean stalked

Electric Car Jokes More Electric Car Jokes

Why did the man with an electric car think he had a dual exhaust?

He drank a lot of beer. He ate a lot of beans. *You love it.*

Why did the electric car finish the race early?

It had a short circuit.