Why are spiders like tops?

They are always spinning!

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How many heroin addicts does it take to change a lightbulb?

Four. One to hold the lightbulb and three to smoke until the room starts spinning!

Why is a rat when it spins?

The higher it flies, the much.

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What did the spider say when he broke his new web?

Darn it!

Why are spiders so unproductive?

Because they hang out on the web all day!

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Why are spiders like tops?

They are always spinning!

Why do apes climb to the tops of buildings?

The elevator men are on strike!