What are your best family friendly Christmas jokes?

I need some for tonight.

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Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

What's Nigel Farage's favourite Christmas song?

I'm dreaming of a white Christmas.

Why cant programmers tell the difference between Christmas and Thanksgiving?

Because oct 31 = dec 25

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

What pillar doesn't need holding up?

A caterpillar!

Why do we need to be learned English?

Hmm.. Couldn't have worded that better myself, Luke

Tonight Jokes More Tonight Jokes

Who's there! Cantaloupe! Cantaloupe who?

Cantaloupe with you tonight!

What is the most mysterious cheese?

I'm going to a cheese and wine party tonight and the host has requested I bring a "mystery cheese". I'm hoping there's a puntastic cheese out there somewhere that may fit the bill!