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Why didn't the tree get any presents for Christmas?

He was knotty.

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Present Jokes More Present Jokes

Why didn't the rope get any presents this year?

He was very knotty.

What did Darth Vader say to Luke on his birthday?

I know what you're going to get, I felt your presents

Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

What happens to you at Christmas?

Yule be happy!

What do you give a kid with no hands for Christmas?

Doesnt matter, he'll never unwrap the gift

Tree Jokes More Tree Jokes

Why is it called an "almond" in the tree but an "amond" when it falls to the ground?

When it falls to the ground, it knocks the 'ell out of it.

Why do dinosaurs climb trees?

There's nothing else to climb in the jungle.