What did little no armed Jimmy get for Christmas?

Gloves! Haha I'm joking. He hasn't opened it yet.

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Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

What does Eckhart Tolle get for Christmas?

Presence

Why did my family serve Eggs Benedict on a hubcap for Christmas breakfast?

Because there's no plate like chrome for the hollandaise.

Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

How do you fit 50 elephants into a subway station?

You take the letter "f" out of the word "way" (there's no f in way) *joke works best when the person being asked the question has to think about it for some time and says the phrase themselves without realizing what they said

Why did the Chinese Government cross the road?

THE PUNCHLINE OF THIS JOKE HAS BEEN CENSORED BY THE GOVERNMENT OF THE PEOPLES REPUBLIC OF CHINA, PLEASE REMAIN CALM WHILE WE WILL DEAL WITH THE OP IN A CIVIL MANNER.

Open Jokes More Open Jokes

Why did the ants dance on the jam jar?

The lid said, "Twist to open."

What time does Sean Connery go to the US Open?

Tennish

Glove Jokes More Glove Jokes

What did one hand say to the other?

Help, I think I'm in glove".

What did the kid with no hands get for Christmas?

Gloves. Just kidding he couldn't open it to find out

Jimmy Jokes More Jimmy Jokes

What has 4 legs and isn't alive?

It's a chair dad... Why are you bothering me with this! No Jimmy, it's your dog...

Why did Sally fall off the swing?

Because she didn't have any arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Definitely not Sally. Why did Jimmy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a truck Why didn't the truck turn out of the way? Sally Was driving