How did the Santa Lawn Ornament feel the day after Christmas?

He was de-lighted.

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Day Jokes More Day Jokes

How do you spot a bad boss your first day on the job?

Check his/her pulse. (bitter at the workplace)

What does Putin say during his New Year's speech?

Don't know but its so scary that they drink for ten days straight right after!

Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

What will fall on the lawn first?

An autumn leaf or a Christmas catalogue

What did the snowman say when he got coal for Christmas?

I can see!

Feel Jokes More Feel Jokes

How are you feeling?

The thermometer responded, "0K."

Why did the dolphin run away from home to start a new life?

He felt he had lost his sense of porpoise.