Ill Jokes

What do you say when your ex has broken up with you?

Ill call you tomorow

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Which Norse God consistently uses VPNs?

Ill give you a hint, he remains very low-key.

What do you call a pirate's helicopter?

An Eye-patchy helicopter!. Ill show myself out.

What would you do of you found Chicago, Ill.?

Call Baltimore, M.D.

What did the tiger say to the detective?

I'm not lion. Ill be here all week...

Why can't you run in camp sites?

Its 'ran', because it's past tents... Ill see myself out.

How does the Easter Bunny keep his ears standing straight up?

He uses Hare Spray.

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Read Jokes More Read Jokes

Why do the undead read cringe stories?

Because they're already... DEAD INSIDE.

Where would an eccentric beverage go if it wanted to watch married couplesfight and read high quality humor columns?

To the Drink Quirks Wed Fight.

Pubic Hair Jokes More Pubic Hair Jokes

What sound does a pubic hair make right before it hits the floor?

Ptui

What do you call a Roman with pubic hair in his teeth?

Gladiator

Myshelf Jokes More Myshelf Jokes

What does a lonely Sean Connery building IKEA products say?

I guess its jusht me, myshelf, and I tonight.

Suffer Jokes More Suffer Jokes

What does Ukraine have in common with the iPhone 7?

They both suffered the loss of one very important port.

What are the three rings of marriage?

The first one is the engagement ring...the second one is the wedding ring...and the third one is the suffering.

Cure Jokes More Cure Jokes

How does a mathematician cure constipation?

How does a mathematician cure her constipation She works it out with a pencil.

What's the difference between eugenics and a charity marathon?

The second one's a race for the cure. Shamelessely stolen from.

Norse God Jokes More Norse God Jokes

What do you call a Norse god after a workout?

Thor

What do you call getting a movie about Norse gods from the Internet?

DownlOdin. What do you call getting a movie about Norse gods from the Internet illegally? Thorrenting.

Darude Sandstorm Jokes More Darude Sandstorm Jokes

What's a desert's favorite song?

Darude-Sandstorm

What do you call the mean and dusty winds of the desert?

Darude Sandstorm

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of liquid does a pig's printer use?

Oink

What kind of bee can keep an aeroplane dry?

An aero-drone!