Ill Jokes

What do you say when your ex has broken up with you?

Ill call you tomorow

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Which Norse God consistently uses VPNs?

Ill give you a hint, he remains very low-key.

What do you call a pirate's helicopter?

An Eye-patchy helicopter!. Ill show myself out.

What would you do of you found Chicago, Ill.?

Call Baltimore, M.D.

What did the tiger say to the detective?

I'm not lion. Ill be here all week...

Why can't you run in camp sites?

Its 'ran', because it's past tents... Ill see myself out.

How does the Easter Bunny keep his ears standing straight up?

He uses Hare Spray.

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Break Jokes More Break Jokes

Why didn't you check your speedometer?

Driver: It broke when I hit 100.

Why are penguins socially awkward?

Because they can't break the ice.

Question Jokes More Question Jokes

What did William Shakespeare say regarding atomic orbitals?

2p or not 2p, that is the question.

How did the writer pop the question?

He per-prosed

Pubic Hair Jokes More Pubic Hair Jokes

What sound does a pubic hair make right before it hits the floor?

Ptui

What do you call a Roman with pubic hair in his teeth?

Gladiator

Poetry Jokes More Poetry Jokes

Why did the bee started talking poetry?

He was waxing lyrical!

What is Little Finger's favorite thing about poetry?

Shtanzas

Smoke Jokes More Smoke Jokes

What type of weed do lizards smoke?

Mariguana.

What do you call Harrison Ford when he smokes weed?

Han So-High

Illness Jokes More Illness Jokes

What is the first question you ask a baby cow, after it's gotten over an illness?

How are you vealing?

What illness makes you sneeze on your laptop screen?

A computer virus!

Myshelf Jokes More Myshelf Jokes

What does a lonely Sean Connery building IKEA products say?

I guess its jusht me, myshelf, and I tonight.

Performer Jokes More Performer Jokes

What happened to the performer who read poetry to terminally ill patients?

He suffered an elegiac reaction.

What did the circus owner say to the human-cannonball when the he wanted to retire?

How will I ever find another performer of your caliber? (Source: a dad on Thanksgiving)