Ill Jokes

What do you say when your ex has broken up with you?

Ill call you tomorow

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Which Norse God consistently uses VPNs?

Ill give you a hint, he remains very low-key.

What do you call a pirate's helicopter?

An Eye-patchy helicopter!. Ill show myself out.

What would you do of you found Chicago, Ill.?

Call Baltimore, M.D.

What did the tiger say to the detective?

I'm not lion. Ill be here all week...

What do you call a sick bird who has crossed a national border without consent?

An ILL-EAGLE! 2X COMBO

Why can't you run in camp sites?

Its 'ran', because it's past tents... Ill see myself out.

How does the Easter Bunny keep his ears standing straight up?

He uses Hare Spray... (Ill see myself out)

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Terminal Illness Jokes More Terminal Illness Jokes

Why was the airport depressed?

It had a terminal illness.

What makes an elderly millionaire bachelor more attractive?

Terminal illness.

Performer Jokes More Performer Jokes

What did the circus owner say to the human-cannonball when the he wanted to retire?

How will I ever find another performer of your caliber? (Source: a dad on Thanksgiving)

What happened to the performer who read poetry to terminally ill patients?

He suffered an elegiac reaction.

Infidel Jokes More Infidel Jokes

What is the Arabic word for Priest?

Infidel.

Why couldnt you trust Castros wife?

Because at one point, she was infidel. Ok ill leave now

Sick Bird Jokes More Sick Bird Jokes

What is the difference... What is the difference between unlawful and illegal?

One is against the law and the other is a sick bird.

What do you call a sick bird of prey that enters the country without permission?

An ill-eagle

Suffer Jokes More Suffer Jokes

What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don't?

Depreciation.

What do you call it when a vegetable suffers heart failure?

A hearti*choke*....

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

Where do Star Trek fans work out?

At the He's Dead Gym.

What do you call a lizard that doesn't work?

A reptile dysfunction.

Headache Jokes More Headache Jokes

Hows your headache?

Husband: She's fine.

How do you cure a headache?

Put your head through a window and the pane will just disappear!

Ill Eagle Jokes More Ill Eagle Jokes

Why did the sick bird get deported?

He was an ill eagle.

What do you call a sick bird who has crossed a national border without consent?

An ILL-EAGLE! 2X COMBO