Performer Jokes

What happened to the performer who read poetry to terminally ill patients?

He suffered an elegiac reaction.

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What did the circus owner say to the human-cannonball when the he wanted to retire?

How will I ever find another performer of your caliber? (Source: a dad on Thanksgiving)

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Act Jokes More Act Jokes

What would happen if you crossed Magilla Gorilla with a Saint Bernard?

It would drink the brandy it would carry and act like a big Gorilla!

How did the florist act after getting her dream job?

Got so excited she wet her plants.

Rest Jokes More Rest Jokes

How are men like carpet tiles?

If you lay them properly the first time around you can walk all over them for the rest of your life.

Why does a montonegran man keep a chair next to his bed?

So he can have a rest after he gets tired from waking up.

Concentrate Jokes More Concentrate Jokes

What did the quiet orange say to the noisy orange?

Be quiet, I'm concentrating!

Why are oranges the smartest fruit?

Because they are made to concentrate.

Ethnicity Jokes More Ethnicity Jokes

What ethnicity is Santa?

North Poleish

How many members of an ethnicity does it take to perform a specified task?

A finite number! One member to perform the task, and the rest to behave in a manner stereotypical to the ethnicity in question.

Sound Jokes More Sound Jokes

What does it sound like when Java laughs?

Java -jar jar.jar

What the sound of a rainbow laughing?

Hue hue hue hue

Manner Jokes More Manner Jokes

How many members of a certain demographic group does it take to perform a specified task?

A finite number: one to perform the task and the remainder to act in a manner stereotypical of the group in question.

Which of Santa's reindeers needs to mind his manners the most?

Rude"olph

Performance Jokes More Performance Jokes

What do you call group of mentally handicapped kids at a performance of "Peter Pan"?

Slow Children At Play

What is the difference between a magician and Bernie Sanders?

The magician returns your wallet at the end of the performance

Perform Jokes More Perform Jokes

Why can't an orchestra made of OB/GYN doctors ever get good enough to perform a concert?

Because the C-section is always messy.

What do you call it when a Dinosaur can't perform in bed?

A reptile dysfunction. Thank high me for that one.