Pronounce Jokes

Why is it so hard to pronounce words in Welsh?

It is the language of Wales.

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How can you determine which of two people is a chemist and which is a plumber?

You ask them to pronounce unionize.

How do you tell the difference between a Fabric Designer and a Science Professor?

Ask them to pronounce "LATEX"

How do you tell the difference between an electrician and an electrical engineer?

Ask them to pronounce the word, "unionized".

What's the difference between a plumber and a scientist?

Pronounce this word: unionized

Why are there exactly two hundred and thirty nine beans in an Irish Bean Soup?

Because if there were one more, it'd be two forty. (Too farty) This works much better when spoken out loud. The joke how Irish people pronounce "forty."

What's a pirate's favorite workout program?

Pirates (pronounced like pilates)

What are Mario's overalls made of?

Denim denim denim (pronounced with the Mario underground theme)

What did the hippy say when he was told to get off the couch and get a job?

Namaste (pronounced:nah I'ma stay)

When it's a legal matter, it's pronounced o-FENCE. When it's sports, it's pronounced OFF-ence. Climbing...?

A fence.

How can you tell if a person works in HR or IT?

Ask them to pronounce the following: **HIRES**

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What is your reason for divorce?

She pronounces 'Kansas' like the second part of 'Arkansas'

What's the difference between a Chemist and a Plumber?

The way they pronounce "unionized"

How do you pronounce the capital of Kentucky, Loo-e-ville or Loo-is-ville?

I pronounce it Frankfort.

How do you pronounce "nihilism?

It doesn't matter

Why isn't the word gangster pronounced Jang-ster?

Because there ain't no such thing as a soft 'G.'

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Climb Jokes More Climb Jokes

Why did Batman climb the tree?

He was looking for Robin's nest.

Why did the cop climb the tree?

He worked for a special branch.

Language Jokes More Language Jokes

What language do eagles program in?

C#(https://np.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/3tp03o/incanadawehavesomenicefalcons/cx8608n)

What language does a patio speak?

Porch-uguese

Begin Jokes More Begin Jokes

What is hairy on the outside, wet and fleshy on the inside, begins with C and ends with T, and has both a U and a N in it?

Coconut

How do police informants begin their jokes?

Nark Nark

Recruiter Jokes More Recruiter Jokes

How can you tell between a graphic designer and recruiter?

Ask them to pronounce "hires"

Ence Jokes More Ence Jokes

When it's a legal matter, it's pronounced o-FENCE. When it's sports, it's pronounced OFF-ence. Climbing...?

A fence.

H Jokes More H Jokes

What makes a pun, fun?

Add an h.

Why do Americans just ignore the "H" in "Herb"?

Honestly, no idea!

Karma Jokes More Karma Jokes

What does Apu say when people leave him to browse reddit?

Thank you, Karma gain

How was the Redditor with only one karma upvote able to look like he had five karma upvotes?

He was a karma-karma-karma-karma, karma chameleon!

Remain Jokes More Remain Jokes

Why didn't Count Dracula get married?

He wanted to remain a bat-chelor.

How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him.