Pronounce Jokes

Why isn't the holiday on December 25th pronounced "Chlistmas"?

Because there's no L.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug
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Coffee Mug

Why is it so hard to pronounce words in Welsh?

It is the language of Wales.

How do Jamaicans pronounce bacon?

The same way British people pronounce beer can.

How can you determine which of two people is a chemist and which is a plumber?

You ask them to pronounce unionize.

What do you have left after you burn a French alphabet?

H Edit: I don't like explaining jokes but since the first guy didn't get I might as well: When pronounced in a French accent it sounds like ash.

How to tell if someone has Rhotacism?

Ask them to pronounce it.

How do you tell the difference between a Fabric Designer and a Science Professor?

Ask them to pronounce "LATEX"

Why don't black people like pirates?

They pronounce everything with a hard "aargh"

Why isn't there democracy in North Korea?

Because everytime they try to pronounce "election" everyone starts to giggle

How do you tell the difference between an electrician and an electrical engineer?

Ask them to pronounce the word, "unionized".

What's the difference between a plumber and a scientist?

Pronounce this word: unionized

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
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Coffee Mug

Why are there exactly two hundred and thirty nine beans in an Irish Bean Soup?

Because if there were one more, it'd be two forty. (Too farty) This works much better when spoken out loud. The joke how Irish people pronounce "forty."

What's a pirate's favorite workout program?

Pirates (pronounced like pilates)

What's the proper way to pronounce Mormon?

The second m is silent.

What are Mario's overalls made of?

Denim denim denim (pronounced with the Mario underground theme)

What did the hippy say when he was told to get off the couch and get a job?

Namaste (pronounced:nah I'ma stay)

When it's a legal matter, it's pronounced o-FENCE. When it's sports, it's pronounced OFF-ence. Climbing...?

A fence.

Why did Steve Harvey announce Miss Colombia as the Miss Universe winner?

Because he couldn't pronounce Miss Philippines.

How can you tell if a person works in HR or IT?

Ask them to pronounce the following: **HIRES**

What do you call a Pho restaurant run by 9 Japanese chefs?

Pho Kyuu EDIT: No one understands how to pronounce "Pho".;;

What do you call cantaloupe flavored gum?

A Ty-lemma (pronounced like dilemma)

Why's the ch pronounced differently in orchid than in orchard?

ROBOT: twitch, spark

Why don't British people pronounce their T's?

Because they're all in the Boston harbor.

What is your reason for divorce?

She pronounces 'Kansas' like the second part of 'Arkansas'

What's the difference between a Chemist and a Plumber?

The way they pronounce "unionized"

How do you pronounce the capital of Kentucky, Loo-e-ville or Loo-is-ville?

I pronounce it Frankfort.

How do you pronounce the "Pao" in "Power'?

Deleted

How do you pronounce "nihilism?

It doesn't matter

Why isn't the word gangster pronounced Jang-ster?

Because there ain't no such thing as a soft 'G.'

You might also enjoy:

Holiday Jokes More Holiday Jokes

Where do bees go on holiday?

Stingapore!

Where do ants go for their holidays?

Frants!

Beer Jokes More Beer Jokes

How do Jamaicans pronounce bacon?

The same way British people pronounce beer can.

What Einstein say when someone tried to take his beer?

Nein! Mein Stein!....sorry

Capital Jokes More Capital Jokes

Why is Ireland the richest country in the world?

Because it's capital is always Dublin.

What are a Corporation's Favourite Letters?

Capital I's

Sport Jokes More Sport Jokes

Which sport is more lame: frisbee, or curling?

Discus

What sport does the kool-aid man play?

Baseball he's a pitcher.

Unionize Jokes More Unionize Jokes

How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?

Ask them to pronounce unionized.

How do you tell the difference between a physicist and a plumber?

Ask them to say the word 'unionized'.

Determine Jokes More Determine Jokes

What is the best way to determine if someone is ticklish?

Give them a "test tickle."

How do you determine the personality of a hot dog?

Give it an Oscar-Myers-Briggs test

Word Jokes More Word Jokes

What word has the most letters in it?

Postbox.

Why are people still using a dictionary?

I just type the words into Google and see if it corrects me.

Jamaican Jokes More Jamaican Jokes

Why can't Jamaicans count to 10?

Because there's a *tree* in the way!

How do Jamaican's end their prayers?

Ey mon.