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How do you tell a chemist from a non-chemist?

Ask them to pronounce 'unionized.'

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What is the difference between a English actuary and a Sicilian actuary?

An English actuary can tell you how many people are going to die next year. A Sicilian actuary can give you their names...

How can you tell if a farmer is a good farmer?

He's out standing in his field

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What does the sterile man say when asked if he's gonna get neutered?

Vas the deferens?

What does Ron Howard ask before watersports?

You down with Opie pee

Chemist Jokes More Chemist Jokes

Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.

Why couldn't the Dubstep artist be a chemist?

He couldn't stop dropping the base!

Unionize Jokes More Unionize Jokes

How do you tell the difference between an electrician and an electrical engineer?

Ask them to pronounce the word, "unionized".

How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?

Ask them to pronounce unionized.