Why did the twitter army lose all their battles?

Because they kept retweeting.

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Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

What's the difference between my GoPro and my girlfriend?

I wouldn't spend hours looking for my girlfriend at a ski resort if I lost her on the mountain.

What did Jesus do to lose weight?

Crossfit

Battle Jokes More Battle Jokes

What's a bodybuilder's favorite fight of the American Civil War?

The Battle of Gaine's Mill

Why do they call them the minute men?

Because they lasted a minute in battle