What did Jesus do to lose weight?

Crossfit

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Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

What did the balding German frau exclaim when her husband left her?

Ach! I tink I'm losing mein Herr!

What does a tornado and a red-neck divorce have in common?

Either way someone's going to lose a trailer.

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

What do you call a penny with Jesus on it?

J.C. Penny

What does Jesus say when someone cuts his call?

Hello.. Hello..? Lama sabachthani?!

Weight Jokes More Weight Jokes

Why couldn't Cauchy lose any weight?

Because every time he saw a street pole he imagined two pies.

What did the scale say when it was going to drop a fresh mixtape?

Weight on it.

Crossfit Jokes More Crossfit Jokes

Why did Jesus look so ripped during Crucifixion?

CrossFit

What's the difference between CrossFit and a cult?

A torn ACL