Seed Jokes

What did a pirate say to fellow pirate?

Are you seeding?

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How many Marxists does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. The lightbulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.

Why does the farmer hate his job?

Because he has a deep-seeded hatred for planting.

What did the blonde say when she looked into the box of Cheerios?

Wow!! Donut seeds!!!!

How many Marxists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.

What did Leonardo DiCaprio say when he planted a seed?

Inception

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Religion Jokes More Religion Jokes

What is the difference between a cult and a religion?

Popularity.

Why don't churches, synagogues, mosques and temples have Wi-Fi?

Because religions don't like competing with an invisible power that actually works.

Socialist Jokes More Socialist Jokes

How do you know if someone is a socialist?

Don't worry, they'll tell you.

Why was the socialist kicked from his party?

Because he was anti social.

Change Jokes More Change Jokes

How many Java programmers does it take to change a light bulb?

One to generate a "ChangeLightBulb" event to the socket.

How many Deadheads does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, they just watch it burn out and follow it around for 30 years.

Job Jokes More Job Jokes

Why did the cow get a job at Google?

Because she was out standing in her field.

When are they going to bring slavery back?

I am tired of looking for a job.

Bagel Jokes More Bagel Jokes

What do you call a seagull that flies by the bay?

A bagel

What kind of bagel can fly?

A plain bagel.

Marxist Jokes More Marxist Jokes

Why do Marxists drink herbal tea?

Because all proper tea is theft.

How many Marxists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.

Hold Jokes More Hold Jokes

How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. They hold it in place and wait for the world to revolve around them.

What did the Gorilla do with the apple he was holding in his hands?

He brought it to school and said 'An Ape-lle for the teacher!'

Bad Joke Jokes More Bad Joke Jokes

Whats the worst joke you can play on an American?

Two pies to the face and one somewhere in a field in Pennsylvania.

What is the worst joke you have ever Heard?

I'll start it off: Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The Ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.