What kind of coffee does a peg legged pirate drink?

Decalfinated.

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Who makes coffee for the U.N.?

The French Press Secretary!

Why did the hipster burn his tongue?

Because he drank his coffee before it was cool.

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What kind of tape do kidnappers use?

AbDUCT tape

What kind of turns do letters take?

U-turns! *From my 9 year old son yesterday. Fixed typo.

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What kind of coffee does a peg legged pirate drink?

Decalfinated.