What kind of book did Frankenstein's monster like to read?

One with a cemetery plot.

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Why can't Sean Connery read November?

Because he hasn't Read October.

Who reads the news AND makes coffee?

Katie Keurig. (I know the setup might need some work but I just like the punchline I made up.)

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What kind of fish would be good to tune a piano?

Oh, you guessed it right... the tuna fish!

What kind of car does Jesus drive?

A Christler.

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What do you call a book club that's been stuck on the same book for thousands of years?

Church.

Where do books sleep?

Under their covers.

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What did Frankenstein's monster say when he was struck by lightning?

Thanks I needed that.

How does Frankenstein sit in his chair?

Bolt upright.

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What was the inscription on the tomb of Frankenstein's monster?

HERE LIES FRANKENSTEIN'S MONSTER. MAY HE REST IN PIECES.

Why did Frankenstein's monster give up boxing?

Because he didn't want to spoil his looks.