Kind Jokes

What kind of fish does Google have in their lobby?

Bettas

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

What kind of pants does Mario wear to work?

Denim denim denim p

What kind of fabric does Mario use?

Denim denim denim.

What kind of mint is the hardest to swallow?

Abandonment.

What kind of bird always sticks together?

A velcrow Courtesy of Jokels.com:

What do sea mammals say when something happens against their kind?

Oh, the huge-manatee

Which kind of shark is also the saddest dog?

The porbeagle.

What kind of jean's do Mario prefer?

Denim Denim Denim.

What kind of workout does Bob the electrician do?

Circuit training.

What kind of cheese do you use to hide a small horse?

Mascarpone!

What kind of cheese do you use to entice a bear?

Camembert!

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Everyday Deserves a Joke

What kind of tree would have the best bark?

Dogwood. Don't you dare judge me, it was on my popsicle stick.

What kind of monkey can fly?

A hot air baboon!

Why kind of cigarettes do Hawaiians smoke?

Mahalo bro lights.

What kind of doctor fixes broken websites?

A URLologist.

What kind of robbery is not dangerous?

A safe robbery.

What kind of dog chases anything red?

A bull dog!

What kind of soap do Middle Eastern citizens use?

Arab spring

What kind of modeling clay does a dog use?

Fi-Do!

What kind of protozoa likes Halloween?

An amoeboo!

What kind of government does Disney World have?

A plutocracy

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

What kind of book did Frankenstein's monster like to read?

One with a cemetery plot.

What kind of bee can't be understood?

A mumble bee!

What kind of jackets do Audiophiles wear?

FLAC jackets

What kind of snake is it good to have on a car?

Windshield vipers.

What kind of tumors do tough guys get?

Heman-giomas

What kind of socks do you find in your backyard?

Garden hose.

What kind of jacket would Michael J. Fox wear if he was black?

OC A parka, son.

What kind of pizza do pilots like?

Plain.

What kind of pictures do hermit crabs take?

Shellfies

What kind of television do horses like?

Saddle-lite TV

What kind of dog wears a uniform and medals?

A guard dog!

What kind of snake is good at math?

An adder.

What kind of fish will help you hear better?

A herring aid!

What kind of bug can survive all winter?

A bahumbug!

What kind of apple has a short temper?

A crab apple.

What kind of soldier doesn't need bullets?

The kind of soldier that's always shooting his mouth off.

What kind of wine does Bruce Lee pair with a fish dinner?

None, he just has some WATAH!

What kind of court order would be placed on a pig in order to prevent it from taking a specific course of action?

An inj-oink-tion.

What kind of doctor is always on call?

An oncologist.

What kind of fish is made from two sodium atoms?

A 2na

What kind of fruit is also a vegetable?

Elton John in a coma.

What kind of fruit isn't allowed to get married?

A cantaloupe.

What kind of musical instrument do mice play?

A mouse organ!

What kind of tiles can't you stick on walls?

Reptiles!

Whats a yoga instructors favourite kind of coffee?

Pilatte

What kind of shoe does Mr. T wear?

T-shoes!

What kind of tea did the American colonists want?

Liberty

What kind of present did the armless boy get for Christmas?

Gloves. Jk he hasn't opened it yet!!

What kind of a fish do you always find on a beach?

A dead one...

What kind of tree grows in your hand?

A palm tree.

What kind of monster can sit on the end of your finger?

The bogeyman.

What kind of turns do letters take?

U-turns! *From my 9 year old son yesterday. Fixed typo.

What kind of flooring does a Mexican fit?

Underlay! Underlay!

What kind of currency do astronauts use in space?

Starbucks

What kind of cars do shellfish drive?

Mussel cars.

What kind of boats do smart people ride on?

Scholar ships!

What kind... What kind of vitamins pirates take?

Vitamin "D".

What kind of bird opens doors?

A kiwi!

What kind of musical instrument can you use for fishing?

The cast-a-net.

What kind of sweets do trucks like?

Lorrypops.

What kind of tape do kidnappers use?

AbDUCT tape

What kind of math do owls like?

Owlgebra.

What kind of pants do you buy for your pet Chihuahua?

Shorts!

What kind of pizza did they order on nine eleven?

2 large planes

What kind of bread always goes wrong?

A rye

What kind of book does an Irish cultist read?

The Leprenomichaun.

What kind of people are always in a damn hurry?

Russians

What kind of money does Mario use?

8-bitcoins

What kind of sharks make good carpenters?

Hammerheads!

What kind of fun does a priest have?

Nun.

What kind of cereal do zombies like?

Kellog's All Brain

What kind of bar do fish go to?

A sand bar.

What kind of house does cheese like to live in?

A cottage

What kind of hair do oceans have?

Wavy hair.

What kind of dish does LeBron like?

Anything with curry in it.

What kind of bird can write?

A penguin.

What kind of injury results from having an omega-3 bottle thrown at your head?

A super-fish-oil wound

What kind of cigars does Baby Jesus smoke?

Mmmph!) Meek &amp Milds!!!!:0

What kind of shoes do Frogs wear?

Open Toad sandals...

What kind of martial arts do birds practice?

Wing Chun

What kind of dog is the most colorful?

A paint Bernard!

What kind of jokes do filipinos make?

Punny ones

What kind of flower grows on your face?

Tulips.

What kind of stretches does a pencil do?

Ticondeyoga

What kind of body do you want to have?

ME: *leans in close* I'd prefer human

What kind of undergarments do mermaids wear?

An algebra

What kind of medicine do bears take?

Bayer Asprin

What kind of code does a volcano use to make its website?

HTMelt

What kind of subreddit dedicates itself to darkness and shadows?

No it is not r/shadow removed

What kind of ring is the least exciting?

A BOring

What kind of snake is useful on your windscreen?

A viper!

What kind of donuts did Bob Marley prefer?

The ones with Jam in

What kind of bee can never be understood?

A mumble-bee.

What kind of luggage does a vulture bring on a plane?

Carrion.

What kind of music do you like?

The other says, "I'm a big metal fan"

What Kind of Motorcycles do Lesbians ride?

Chowasaki. - Pat H.

What kind of car did the German cowboy purchase?

Audi *tips hat*

What kind of goat did Houdini have?

A scapegoat.

What kind of money do religious businesses make?

Prophet.

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Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

What's in the bottle?

Me: "It's water." Cop: "This is wine." Me: "What! That Jesus! He did it again!"

What can both Christians and Atheists agree on about Jesus?

Kanye's not him.

Bagel Jokes More Bagel Jokes

What kind of bagel can fly?

A plain bagel.

Why do seagulls live by the sea?

If they lived by the bay they'd be bagels.

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What hand do you wipe with?

Left or right Response: why not use toilet paper

How does a plant walk?

It uses a plant stand.

Fly Jokes More Fly Jokes

Why couldn't the American fly home from Russia after the Olympics?

Because he was Snow'den.

What happens when you cross a fly and a mountain climber?

Trick question, you can't cross a vector and a scalar.

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

What do you get when you cross a garden, a rabbit, and some ExLax?

For the love of everything sacred on reddit please do not make me actually key the answer....okay, let's say it together, "Salad Shooter".

Why does a priest never get married?

Because they got nun to love them

Person Jokes More Person Jokes

Why do the ladies love Jesus?

This joke makes more sense if you can see it in person, but we'll give it a shot, anyway. Use your imagination. Why do the ladies love Jesus? Because he was hung like this!

Why is a sinking ship like a person in jail?

Because it needs bailing out.

Cruise Jokes More Cruise Jokes

What's a barber's favourite kind of holiday?

Cruising on a clipper.

What do you call a line dancer on a cruise?

A. An Ocean "Liner"

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

Who reads the news AND makes coffee?

Katie Keurig. (I know the setup might need some work but I just like the punchline I made up.)

Why did the Energizer Bunny need to lawyer up?

He was charged with battery.