Kind Jokes

What kind of scary bees can produce milk?

Boo bees

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What kind of watch is best for people who don't like time on their hands?

A pocket watch.

What kind of bus can cross the ocean?

A Columbus.

What kind of horse can swim underwater without coming up for air?

A seahorse!

What kind of oranges do you take on a boat?

Naval oranges. I'msosorry.

What kind of computer is optimized for sad songs?

A Dell.

What kind of sandwich is this?

She asks. "It cheese ma."

What kind of weapon does a seasoned vet use?

A salt rifle.

What kind of exercises do lazy people do?

Diddly-squats

What kind of birds stick together?

Vel-crows

What kind of suit does a bee wear to work?

A buzzness suit!

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What kind of jeans do ghosts wear?

Boo Jeans

What kind of tea do you pay an arm and a leg for?

Amputee

What kind of exercise does Ned Flanders like to do?

Diddily-squats.

What kind of tea isn't fake?

A property

What kind of ant can count?

An account*ant*.

What kind of coat does a vampire wear in the rain?

A wet one.

What kind of Mechanics fix and break your car at the same time?

Quantum Mechanics.

What kind of spy hangs out in department stores?

A counter spy.

What kind of database does a Pokedex use?

PokeMongoDB

What kind of cereal does Microsoft make?

Wind O's

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What kind of music do cows listen to?

Dadjoke) MOOOOOsic.

What kind of a star can be risky?

A shooting star!

What kind of ears does an engine have?

Engineers

What kind of light makes the best US president?

A blinkin' light

What kind of dog sniffs out new flowers?

A bud hound!

What kind of key opens a casket?

A skeleton key.

What kind of drugs do ducks use?

Quack.

What kind of tools do I need to make a cake?

Him: The fact that you're calling ingredients tools means u shouldnt be in charge of this.

What kind of guitar did the pool player own?

A-cue-stick.

What kind of wine does ISIS drink?

White Infidel.

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What kind of ANIMAL would DO this?

Well, that's a gazelle Jeff, so probably a lion *to other ranger* Jeff's new here

What kind of phone makes music?

A saxophone.

What kind of car do ghosts drive?

BOOgatti!

What kind of zoo has no animals except for a small, yappy dog?

A shih tzu

What kind of medicine does Dracula take for a cold?

Coffin medicine.

What kind of photos do turtles take?

Shellfies

What kind of printer does a pig use?

An oinkjet.

What are a plumbers least favorite kind of shoe?

Clogs.

What kind of shoes does bread wear?

Loafers.

What kind of tie does a pig wear?

Pig's tie!

What kind of hair do oceans have?

Wavy!

What kind of birds go to church every Sunday?

Birds of Pray

What kind of juice do you get from sick lemons?

LemonAIDS

Who plays those kind of jokes anymore?

You're scaring my wife. She's only 12, jeez.

What kind of drugs do ducks take?

The snort quack.

What kind of music does a rubber duck listen to?

Rub-a-dubstep!

What kind of letters did the snake get from his admirers?

Fang letters!

What kind of chocolate swims in the ocean?

ScubGodivas.

What kind of organization is Atheism?

Non-prophet.

What kind of letters would you send to capital cities?

Capital letters.

What do cows like to line dance to?

Any kind of moosic you like!

What kind of bird brings no babies?

A swallow.

What kind of make up was the girl wearing on Halloween?

Mash-scara!

What kind of health insurance does a llama need?

Ollamacare

What kind of trainer are you?

T: I'm a Megan Trainor.

What kind of bug wants to buy lawn turf?

A gras shopper.

What kind of trucks do pigs drive?

A pig up truck

What kind of bait do you need to catch a master fish?

Super Bait

What kind of dog can you best see in the dark?

A glowberman pinscher!

What kind of music does a printer make?

A paper jam.

What kinds of stories do dolphins tell around the campfire?

They're just ghost stories for all in tents and porpoises.

What kind of flowers do you never give on Valentine's Day?

Cauliflowers!

What kind of buildings do terrorists have on their farms?

Allahu akbarns (I'm going to hell)

What kind of tea does an anarchist drink?

Cheap generic iced tea. Because proper tea is theft.

What kind of railway is an Italian engineer's favourite?

Funicula

What's the difference between America and a tub of yogurt?

After 200 years the yogurt would have developed some kind of culture.

What kind of cows do you find in Alaska?

Eski-moos!

What kind of tableware do gym trainers use?

Pilates

When a seeing eye dog poops, who cleans it up?

This is the kind of stuff that makes my head hurt.

What kind of engine did you put in it?

Cut to me filling my car with tomato soup* Me: Um... A fast one.

What kind of pants do the Super Mario Bros. wear?

Denim denim denim.....

What kind of money do fishermen make?

Net profits!

What kind of dog can tell time?

A clockshund!

What's a politicians favorite kind of dance move?

Poll dancing!

What kind of pictures does a mermaid take on her phone?

Shelfies.

What did the Japanese buck say to the doe he was courting?

OC I don't know how to put this but...I'm kind of a big deer.

What kind of shoes does a thief wear?

Sneakers

What kind of award did the dentist receive?

A little plaque.

What kind of bagel can fly?

A plain bagel.

What kind of dinosaur loves to sleep?

A stega-snore-us.

What kind of dog lives in a particle accelerator?

A Fermilabrador Retriever.

What kind of magic do cows believe in?

MOODOO.

What kind of music do planets listen to?

Nep-tunes.

What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo jeans.

What kind of tree fits in your hand?

A palm tree!

What kind of music do welders like?

Heavy metal.

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Crab Jokes More Crab Jokes

Why did the dolphin feel crabby?

Because he ate too many crabs!

What do you call a gas station that sells crabs?

A crustacean.

Build Jokes More Build Jokes

How did Dr Frankenstein pay the men who built his monster?

On a piece rate.

What size lumber is used to build homes in Dubai?

Dubai fours

Sushi Restaurant Jokes More Sushi Restaurant Jokes

What did the fish say for stinking up the sushi restaurant?

I am saury.

What kind of eel is this?

Diner at the sushi restaurant: "What kind of eel is this?" Waiter: "Do you love it?" Diner: "yeah" Waiter: "Then, that's a moray"

Hodor Jokes More Hodor Jokes

What do you say if you want someone to hold the lift?

Ans: Hodor

What does Hodor start off his day with?

Raisin' Bran.

Building Jokes More Building Jokes

Why did the console peasant cross the road?

To render buildings on the other side

Why do apes climb to the tops of buildings?

The elevator men are on strike!

Mouse Jokes More Mouse Jokes

What is gray, has a trunk, and big ears?

A mouse going on vacation.

What did the keyboard say to the mouse?

Stop with the cheesey jokes!

Soldier Jokes More Soldier Jokes

What's the difference between Frenchmen and some toast?

You can make soldiers out of toast!

What does a Soldier and a Shoulder have in common?

They have access to arms.

Pirate Jokes More Pirate Jokes

Why couldn't the pirate play cards?

Because he was sitting on the deck!

Why was being a soprano a requirement to becoming a pirate?

It made it easier to deal with high C's