How long must I wait for that turtle soup I ordered?

Waiter: Well you know how slow turtles are.

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How do you know when someone smokes weed?

Dont worry, they'll tell you.

How do you know this is OC?

Its not on the front page

Order Jokes More Order Jokes

Why were the twin towers disappointed?

They ordered pepperoni and all they got was plane.

How much does wonton soup weigh?

One ton, but I don't know anyone that'd wantonly order it.

Wait Jokes More Wait Jokes

What did Abe Lincoln say after a three day drinking binge?

Wait I freed?!?!?

What is the difference between a drunk driver and a high driver?

The drunk driver will blow through a stop sign without even knowing it was there.. The high driver will wait until it turns green

Waiter Jokes More Waiter Jokes

Why do waiters prefer elephants to flies?

Have you ever heard anyone complaining of a elephant in their soup.

Why doesn't your menu list prices?

Waiter: We didn't want to make you sick before the food does.