Kind Jokes

What kind of cheese?

Me: "American..." Her: "Want it toasted " Me: "I'll just make it myself."

Everyday Deserves a Joke

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What kind of horse has trouble keeping track of his Macintosh?

An Appaloosa!

What kind of a fish does your Parrot sit on?

A Perch!

What kind of ears do trains have?

Engineers (engine ears).

What kind of street does a ghost like best?

A dead end.

What kind of pizza does Buddha like?

One with everything.

What kind of water do ducks drink?

Bottled Waddle.

What kind of birds do you usually find locked up?

Jail-birds!

What kind of shark is always drunk?

A hammeredhead

What kinds of jokes do cats play on each other?

Purranks.

What kind of car drives over water?

Any kind of car if it goes over a bridge.

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

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What kind of drugs to frogs take?

Methamphibians.

What kind of cell phone reception do astronauts get on the moon?

1/6 G My 8 year old son came up with this one.

Why kind of motorcycles do cows ride?

Mooooootorcycles!

What kind of ears do pumpers have?

A. Engineers.

What kind of overalls does Super Mario wear?

Denim denim denim...

What kind of furniture do pigs like best?

Overstuffed.

What kind of tie is best to wear in a fight?

Muay Thai

What kind of bathroom does Napoleon use?

A Waterloo

What kind of memes do Germans like?

Danke memes

Who's there! Chloe! Chloe who?

Chloe's Encounters of the Third Kind!

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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What did the Morman say when asked what kind of wives he wanted?

Brigham Young

What kind of noise annoys an oyster?

A noisy noise annoys an oyster! (Try saying that fast!)

What kind of laptop calls you a thousand times?

A dell

What kind of insects to secret agents like?

As told by my 9 yr old) Spiders.

What kind of shorts do clouds wear?

Thunderwear.

What kind of dog is this?

Well actu.." "Hes cute" *pets it* "Sir thats my.." *picks it up* "Your a good dog arent you " "PUT MY SON DOWN"

What kind of motorbike does Santa ride?

A Holly Davidson!

What kind of martial art does a chef do?

Kung food (Don't hurt me, I know it's bad)

What kind of ant is good at maths?

An accountant!

What kind of baseball do burgers play?

Ketchup baseball!

What kind of batteries does a Harvard undergrad use?

AAA

What kind of cheese do you use to entice a bear down from a tree?

Camembert!

What kind of girl does a hamburger like?

Any girl named Patty!

What kind of tea do the crime investigation team drink?

A "casual tea"

What kind of fish is made out of two sodium atoms?

Tuna (2Na).

What kinds of clothes do protons wear?

Plus sizes!

What kind of leash should you buy for a Chihuahua?

A short one!

What kind of a pitch did Sandy Koufax of the old Burger-lyn Dodgers have?

A fastball - a sizzler.

What kind of bears don't have teeth?

Gummi bears.)

What kind of marijuana do cows smoke?

Moo-dicinal

What kind of bone do you find in a dinosaur steak?

A T-Bone!!!!

What kind of phone does a burglar use?

A no-key-a

What kind of fish would be good to tune a piano?

Oh, you guessed it right... the tuna fish!

What kind of tree smells like bacon?

Original) A Porcupine!

Which Kind Of Girls Wear Transparent Clothes?

"Those Girls Who Don't Trust The Imagination Power Of A Boy"

What kind of cereal do you find in a haunted house?

Cinnamon Ghost Crunch

What kind of a car does a crazy man drive?

A LOCOmotive.

What kind of music does your mailman like?

Postrock/Postpunk

What kind of joke do you tell to a vegetarian?

One they've never herbivore.

What kind of dough do Hobbit bakers use?

Frodough.

What kind of company is a 24 hours hamburger joint?

Fry-by-night!

What kind of speech did the farmer give his cornfield?

It didn't matter, they were all ears

What kind of clothes do lawyers wear?

Lawsuits.

What kind of type face does a pachyderm use?

Ele-font

What kind of bread do pig ladles make in the Yukon?

Sow-r dough bread.

What kind of footwear do Whitewalkers use?

The Hodor-eliminating kind.

What kind of fence goes on strike?

A picket fence.

What kind of Pop do you cook with?

Baking Soda

What is bruce banners favourite kind of potato?

HULK'S MASH! no idea where she picked it up from, but it made me chuckle

What kind of tie does a ghost wear to a formal party?

A boo-tie.

What kind of gun does a firefighter have?

A water gun.

What kind of bee can never make up its mind?

A maybe

What kind of church does a triangle attend?

Anglican.

What kind of music do chiropractors listen to?

Hip-pop.

What kind of teeth can you buy with a dollar?

Buck teeth!

What kind of dance do buns do?

Abundance.

What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?

A. Honda...because the apostles were all in one Accord.

What kind of house is easiest to pick up?

A light house.

What kind of soap do you use to clean a dirty joke?

Bawdy wash.

What kind of bee can keep an aeroplane dry?

An aero-drone!

What kind of computers do chihuahuas like best?

Lap-top!

Which kind?

Friend: "Motivational."

What kind of movie do mathematicians most often watch?

Rated movies

What kind of music does a mummy like?

W)rap music!

What kind of money do polar bears use?

Ice!

What kind of bees make the best milk?

Boo Bees!

What kind of bath can you take without water?

A sun bath.

What kind of beer does a cow brew?

Heifer-weizen.

What kind of jokes do farmers like?

Corny jokes.

What kind of toothpaste do MLG use?

Pretty much anything, just no Scope.

What kind of root is only easy to find on paper?

A square one.*

What kind of khakis do birds wear?

Khakaws!

What kind of money do monsters use?

Weirdo (weird dough).

What kind of elephants live in Antartica?

Cold ones!

What kind of fish has two knees?

A tunee fish.

What kind of music does an inspired Latin fish listen to?

Carp E.D.M. Credit to my friend for this one.

What kind of gum do astronauts chew?

Hubble Bubble

What kind of cat should you take into the desert?

A first aid kitty!

What kind of dog always needs a shave?

A bearded collie!

What kind of witch goes to the beach?

Sandwitch

What kind of ships can't go in salt water?

Snail-boats

What kind of dreams do dustmites have?

Mitemares

What kind of tea is sometimes hard to swallow?

Reality

What kind of physician works on a cruise liner?

A dry doc.

What kind of floor do dinosaurs' bathrooms have?

Rep-tiles.

What kind of pants does the Pink Panther wear?

Denim Denim Denim Denim Denim Denim Deniiiiim

What kind of apple isn't an apple?

A pineapple.

What kind of work does a weak cat do?

Light mouse work.

What kind of eggs do Canadians prefer?

Grade eh

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Fly Jokes More Fly Jokes

What is long, brown and covered in flies?

The welfare line.

What flies through the jungle singing opera?

The parrots of Penzance!

Building Jokes More Building Jokes

Why did the console peasant cross the road?

To render buildings on the other side

What kind of buildings do terrorists have on their farms?

Allahu akbarns (I'm going to hell)

Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

How do you make a dog go meow?

Freeze it and run it through a bandsaw. MEEEOWW!!

What did the dog say when he chased his tail?

This is the end.

Bridge Jokes More Bridge Jokes

What did Dave Grohl say when he dropped his hoagie off a bridge?

There goes my Hero.

Why did the Mexican push his wife off the bridge?

Tequila

Leg Jokes More Leg Jokes

What do you call a judge with no left hand and left leg?

He is alright, but one sided!

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs inside a volcano?

Anakin Skywalker. (Happy Geek Pride Day!)

Plain Bagel Jokes More Plain Bagel Jokes

What kind of bagel can fly?

A plain bagel.

What kind of bagel can fly?

A plain bagel.

Vitamin Jokes More Vitamin Jokes

What kind... What kind of vitamins pirates take?

Vitamin "D".

What is the difference between a vitamin and a hormone?

You can't here a vitamin.

Build Jokes More Build Jokes

What do you call a building you can't locate?

A warehouse

Why did nVidia build the first self-driving car?

Because their drivers keep crashing.