Which kind?

Friend: "Motivational."

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How do you get high underwater?

Seaweed! lol my friends 12 yr old daughter told us this one

Which is the smallest profession? A mini cab driver or a micro biologist?

Neither. I have a friend who works in computers.

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What kind of explosive is popular with terrorist school-children?

The satchel charge.

What kind of car does a cat drive?

A Cadillac.