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Gold Jokes

What do pirates say when they find buried treasure?

Thanks for the gold!

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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Couple's Daily Question Mug

What did Jesus say to Melchior?

Thanks for the gold, kind stranger!

What did the gold say when it saw the puppy?

Au.

How do you turn soup to gold?

Add 24 carrots

What's better than getting gold in the Special Olympics?

Being normal.

What did the miner say when he struck gold?

Au, yeah!

Whats better than winning gold at the paralympics?

Having legs.....

Where does a pirate keep his gold?

In his treas-arrrr chest!

What's better than winning gold in the Paralympics?

Having a pair of legs...... I know, I know, I'm going to hell

Who wants gold?

Amuse me first...hahaha

How do you turn soup into gold?

You add 24 carats!

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

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I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

Why did the boy fall off the bike?

Someone threw a fridge at him.... Gold

What would you call a terrible piece of gold?

Absolutely Auful!

What's an Australian's favorite element?

Gold

What did Silver say to Gold?

Au!

What did King Midas say to the centaur?

Stay gold, Ponyboy.

How does Rhianna look after a date with Chris Brown?

White and gold.

What did carbon yell at gold while trying to get his attention?

A! U!!! If it doesn't make sense tell it so someone out loud. Pretty sure this is my first original joke

What did Sloth say when he found gold?

AU GUYS!!!

How do feminists screw in a lightbulb?

By holding the bulb up to the socket and waiting for the world to revolve around them EDIT: Rip inbox EDIT 2: Thanks for the gold!

What would gold say if it could talk?

A-U":

Everyday Deserves a Joke

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Everyday Deserves a Joke

Where do frogs keep their treasure?

In a croak of gold at the end of the rainbow!

How do you tell a good joke on reddit?

Wash it up over and over again until you get gold!

Why is it difficult to pan for gold in Somalia?

Because pyrites arrrrrr everywhere

What's happens to gold when it is exposed to the air?

Pupil: It's stolen!

Where did that offensive joke post go?

I'm pretty sure I saved it to make reference to eventually and now I cannot find it. There was some gold in there.

What do liquid Draino and a Dutch stripper have in common?

They both slowly remove clogs.

What did the bartender say to the gold when the gold walked into a bar?

AU, get outta here!

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Shoot Jokes More Shoot Jokes

What do you call two line dancers doing the dance Shoot the Rooster?

A. A Pair of Shoot (parachute)

What's the difference between Anders Breivik and a pro golfer?

Both were happy to shoot 69, but only Breivik went to jail.

Italian Man Jokes More Italian Man Jokes

What did the Italian man with dementia have for dinner?

Forgetti Bolognese.

Why couldn't the Italian man start his car?

Gnocchi

Outta Jokes More Outta Jokes

What did the bartender say to the gold when the gold walked into a bar?

AU, get outta here!

When a hot blonde walks in. The one lawyer says, "Man, wouldn't you like to screw that?

And the other lawyer replies, "Outta what "

Ray Charles Jokes More Ray Charles Jokes

What did Ray Charles say when his wife told him she wanted a divorce?

I did not see that coming.

Why cant Ray Charles see his friends?

Because he's Blind Married

Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

What did the doctor say to the strange beer that walked into his clinic?

What ails you?

Who i am?

Boy: No Girl: I'm The Principal's Daughet. Boy: Do You Know Who i am Boy: Good (Walks Away)

China Jokes More China Jokes

Why did the Chinese Government cross the road?

THE PUNCHLINE OF THIS JOKE HAS BEEN CENSORED BY THE GOVERNMENT OF THE PEOPLES REPUBLIC OF CHINA, PLEASE REMAIN CALM WHILE WE WILL DEAL WITH THE OP IN A CIVIL MANNER.

Why does China hate Digimon Fans?

Because they recognise Ty won

Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

What did the spaghetti say to the postmodernist ravioli?

Stop being such an intellectual im-pasta.

Why did the people's phones stop working on the plane's that crashed into the twin towers?

They were in airplane mode. (I'm so sorry)

Bar Jokes More Bar Jokes

Two guys walk into a bar...

The first guy says "Ouch!" and the second says "Yeah, I didn't see it either."

What do you call it when a Physics Teacher throws a bar of chocolate at you?

Brownian Motion