Greet Jokes

How do Soviet prison mates greet each other?

Gulag to you too.

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How does a French soldier greet his comrades?

Salut!

How does a Redditor greet a woman from Kuala Lumpur?

M'alaydy

How does a neckbeard greet a tree?

Good day, m'hogany'

How do two psychiatrists greet each other?

You are fine, how am I?

How do you greet the cold horse across the fence?

Howdy Neigh - Brr Made up by my 4 year old son.

Who you must not greet on a plane?

HI Jack!

How do you greet a Rastafarian who's out of work?

Jahbless

How do two lawyers greet each other?

With a firm handshake.

How does a French alcoholic greet someone?

Enchantr.

How does a Facebook employee greet each other?

Hey there, whatsapp!!

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What did the Catholic Mexican say to greet the Greek God of Thunder?

Hey zeus!

How do Israeli skiiers greet each other?

Shlalom! (Oy, that's terrible.)

How do German bread greet each other?

Gluten tag!

How do genetically engineered car salesmen from Boston greet their customers?

Hey, gattaca? GATTACA?

How did Maxwell greet Ampre?

Good Faraday to you, sir!

How does a frog greet a rabbit during the holiday season?

Hoppy holidays, and have a hoppin New Hare! Happy holidays everyone.

How did the Mexican greet people in Hawaii?

Ahola.

How do skeletons greet each other?

Bon'nichiwa

How do epileptics greet people?

They shake.

How do sheep greet each other at Christmas?

A Merry Christmas to ewe

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How do you greet a slice of bread in Germany?

Gluten tag! Ba-dum tss.

What does an excited karate pupil say to his friend when greeting him?

HIYAH!

How does a viola greet a relative?

Cello!

How do you greet a British programmer named Cathryn?

Allo-cate

How do 2 psychics greet each other?

Hello, how am I " "You're fine, how am I "

How do angels greet each other?

They say Halo.

What sort of aircraft does the Asian pilot who loves to greet people fly?

A herrocopter

How does a pirate greet a sea monster?

What's Kraken

How does gravity greet itself?

It just waves

What would you like to Instagram?

How waiters should greet people

How did one gold atom greet the other gold atom?

Ey you.

What is the farmers favorite way to greet someone?

Hay!

How do you greet a German baker?

Gluten Tag

How do you greet people at a funeral?

Mourning, everybody!

How do Hawaiian Muslims greet each other?

Aloha Akbar!

What did the German baker say to greet his customers?

Gluten tag!

How do French poodles greet each other?

Bone-jour.

How to cats greet each other at Christmas?

A furry Merry Christmas & Happy mew year"!

How did Maxwell greet Ampere?

Good Faraday to you, sir!

How do nudists greet each other?

With a bare hug.

How do you greet a three-headed monster?

Hi, hi, hi.

How do salespeople traditionally greet each other?

Hi. Nice to meet you. I'm better than you.

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Engineer Jokes More Engineer Jokes

How can you tell if an engineer is an extrovert?

They look at YOUR shoes when they talk to you.

How do you know a stranger could be an engineer?

Don't worry they'll tell you.

Dr. Seuss Jokes More Dr. Seuss Jokes

What was Schrodinger's favorite childhood book?

The Cat in the Box by Dr. Seuss

What did Dr. Seuss call the book he wrote about Star Wars?

The Cat in the AT-AT

Plane Jokes More Plane Jokes

How was 9/11 an inside job?

If the planes came from the outside.

What do you call 100 black people on a plane to Africa?

A good start.

Greek God Jokes More Greek God Jokes

Which Greek god was annoyed by his invitation to the Goddess Dyslexia's party?

Ares.

What did the Greek God say when he could finally take the world off his shoulders?

At las!

Redditor Jokes More Redditor Jokes

What is the biggest similarity between the average Redditor and a lumberjack?

They both sleep all night and whack all day!

What joke has recieved the most upvotes on Reddit?

Redditors.

Lawyer Jokes More Lawyer Jokes

What does a lawyer wear to work?

A law-suit

Why do they bury lawyers 20 feet deep?

Because deep down, they're good people. Thanks Saul.

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

What did Jesus say when he made his return?

Hey guys! What's goin on Tweet my return! #JesusReturns

Why do mathematicians love talking about Jesus?

Because he's a cross product.

Soviet Jokes More Soviet Jokes

Why did the Soviet Union fail?

Too much Stalin'. Yeah it's bad but it made me giggle when I thought of it...

Why are the Soviets Russian?

Because there's no Stalin.