Greet Jokes

How do Soviet prison mates greet each other?

Gulag to you too.

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How does a French soldier greet his comrades?

Salut!

How does a Redditor greet a woman from Kuala Lumpur?

M'alaydy

How does a neckbeard greet a tree?

Good day, m'hogany'

How do Mexicans greet Dr. Seuss?

Jesus!

How did one pothead greet the other?

High

How do two psychiatrists greet each other?

You are fine, how am I?

How do you greet the cold horse across the fence?

Howdy Neigh - Brr Made up by my 4 year old son.

Who you must not greet on a plane?

HI Jack!

How do you greet a Rastafarian who's out of work?

Jahbless

How do two lawyers greet each other?

With a firm handshake.

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How does a French alcoholic greet someone?

Enchantr.

How does a Facebook employee greet each other?

Hey there, whatsapp!!

What did the Catholic Mexican say to greet the Greek God of Thunder?

Hey zeus!

How do Israeli skiiers greet each other?

Shlalom! (Oy, that's terrible.)

How do German bread greet each other?

Gluten tag!

How do genetically engineered car salesmen from Boston greet their customers?

Hey, gattaca? GATTACA?

How did Maxwell greet Ampre?

Good Faraday to you, sir!

How does a frog greet a rabbit during the holiday season?

Hoppy holidays, and have a hoppin New Hare! Happy holidays everyone.

How did the Mexican greet people in Hawaii?

Ahola.

How do skeletons greet each other?

Bon'nichiwa

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How do epileptics greet people?

They shake.

How do sheep greet each other at Christmas?

A Merry Christmas to ewe

How do you greet a slice of bread in Germany?

Gluten tag! Ba-dum tss.

What does an excited karate pupil say to his friend when greeting him?

HIYAH!

How does a viola greet a relative?

Cello!

How do you greet a British programmer named Cathryn?

Allo-cate

How do 2 psychics greet each other?

Hello, how am I " "You're fine, how am I "

How do angels greet each other?

They say Halo.

What sort of aircraft does the Asian pilot who loves to greet people fly?

A herrocopter

How does a pirate greet a sea monster?

What's Kraken

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How does gravity greet itself?

It just waves

What would you like to Instagram?

How waiters should greet people

How did one gold atom greet the other gold atom?

Ey you.

What is the farmers favorite way to greet someone?

Hay!

How do you greet a German baker?

Gluten Tag

How do you greet people at a funeral?

Mourning, everybody!

How do Hawaiian Muslims greet each other?

Aloha Akbar!

What did the German baker say to greet his customers?

Gluten tag!

How do French poodles greet each other?

Bone-jour.

How to cats greet each other at Christmas?

A furry Merry Christmas & Happy mew year"!

How did Maxwell greet Ampere?

Good Faraday to you, sir!

How do nudists greet each other?

With a bare hug.

How do you greet a three-headed monster?

Hi, hi, hi.

How do salespeople traditionally greet each other?

Hi. Nice to meet you. I'm better than you.

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Work Jokes More Work Jokes

How many women does it take to change a light bulb?

I don't know, but I bet we could pay them less than a group of men for the same amount of work.

Why couldn't the physicist understand how boats work?

He thought nothing could possibly travel faster than sea.

Gluten Tag Jokes More Gluten Tag Jokes

What do you call it when a German hits you with a loaf of bread?

Gluten Tag And when a hippie hits you with a loaf of bread Flour power And when a lot of people do it at the same time a rye-ot

How do you greet a slice of bread in Germany?

Gluten tag! Ba-dum tss.

Lawyer Jokes More Lawyer Jokes

Why are lawyers buried 18 feet deep when they die?

Because deep down they're all actually good people.

What's the difference between a rooster and a lawyer?

The rooster's primal urge is to cluck defiance.

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

Why do mathematicians love talking about Jesus?

Because he's a cross product.

How to be Like Jesus 1. Be a carpenter. 2. Be a nice guy. 3.?

4. Prophet.

Psychiatrist Jokes More Psychiatrist Jokes

Why is a psychiatrist like a squirrel?

Because they are both surrounded by nuts.

How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the light bulb really has to want to change.

Fence Jokes More Fence Jokes

Why do they have fences around cemetaries?

Because people are dying to get in.

How big do you suppose that fence is?

I reckon that fence is around a yard.

Plane Jokes More Plane Jokes

What do two Wrights make?

A plane

What do you call a jellyfish on a plane?

A flightoplankton.

Greek Jokes More Greek Jokes

Where do the Greek X-men sleep when camping?

Mu-tents

Why don't the Greeks, Slavs, and Armenians celebrate Thanksgiving?

Because they don't like Turkey